Yea, well today was kinda blah.... not much to really say... i think the night is still kind of young, but i can't do too much.... I'm all turned around in school. All these classes are kind of odd... I guess i have to get used to all the other students. English Lit kinda sucks... all the people i dont really get along with are in it... ya know, all the popular people who think that they're all that and are jerks to everyone else who aren't the same way they are... I just started into the Hamlet section of their syllabus... I missed the whole first act, so i gotta study up this weekend and freakin pass a test that they took today... they all said it was hard... kinda gay.. plus i have to get through act 2.... My other classes are alright tho.. In precalc, i forgot how to use the polynomial root theorem.. so i gotta brush up on all that jazz... there are a couple people in that class that were in my other precalc class (they're cool) then theres other ANNOYING people from last year's anatomy physiology honors class, these are the 2 girls named Allison who dont get anything and freakin ask soo many questions that by the time you're done, you forgot the whole point of the last question and start right back at the beginning... if that even makes any sense... Oh yea, right now i'm takin care of Kimball's dog. She's really sweet and listens to everything I say. We're trying to find a home for her, but we aren't having the best of luck with it. As you can tell, I'm trying to work on my grammar when typing, just because I have to do essays and I totally forgot that I need to capitalize certain single words such as I. Well, back to the point, I'm trying to find a home for her. Right now she's chilling in the back yard with the dead weeds and desert and other miscellaneous dead plants and animals along with tires and cacti. Its really kind of sad. Ha.. I called Karalee's parents to see if they could help keep an ear open for such things.. They gladly said yes. Along with that convo, I got to talk to Karalee's dad for a good 3-4 minutes about stuff, it was kinda cool and odd, I actually felt like I was talking to another guy my age, it was really cool... I also got to play a little church B-ball. I didn't really put any effort into the game, but I still came out with 9 points, one 3 and a couple normal shots... It was fun, I was playing in some baggy blue jeans. This one shot was awesome.. I was on the far right of the court by the out of bounds and recieved the ball, I drove in a little, turned around like I was pass it, pivoted then faded back and shot the ball like I was setting it (I don't exactly have the best shot and arc in the world and when i'm fading, I hardly ever get the ball to even touch the rim). With no arc, the ball luckily went in. People were stunned as they didn't think that the ball would even have a chance of going in. I thought it was a total fluke until I did it again. Well, I think i was just lucky. Fun stuff eh?........rest my day was just.... eh. TOAD THE WET SPROCKET are coming 2/08/03!! I definately plan on going to that one. .: Thought :. I hurt.... in many different ways.

Yea, well, today i got to drop 2 of my classes... now i have 4.. this enables me to work in the daytime so i can get more hours.. the only problem is... i dont have a car to do that...... Well, i found a 91 Honda CRX for $900 and am really thinking about gettin this.... I didnt get $500, but i did get my rims/tires and my speakers back. Well, maybe i can sell my wheels (or maybe not, they fit on the CRX) and then get some money to put a down payment on this car.. Its a nice one, its an Si (the top line), not really any body damage, the car isn't colored.. its primed (gray)... Um, i played some v-ball today, i found out that my coach wants me to set... She's kinda iffy about it, no one wants to set and our setter isn't exactly the most enthusiastic about it. So, they're having me, a starting outside hitter try setting.... its INSANE I TELL YOU!!! I told them that i have hammers for hands and not fragile, controlled, skillful setting hands.. besides all that, I got to see Karalee and Ashley tonight , Ashley for only 2 mins or so, but izallgood... Karalee gave me a ride to Jack in the box to grab some food and chill. And, that was really my whole day... half lame eh? .: Thought :. Who ever thought of cheese must have been a crazy man.. Who ever thought of goat cheese must have been a crazy man who had some major problems with farm animals. Did you ever have that feeling that you've got that void and you did other things to make up for it?? and as a result of those things, your life got better, you met awesome friends, and did fun stuff?? Then you were reminded of why you've done those things and what you had to hide, and you got really depressed and pissed off?? Nah, i never had that...

Well, the day is over, and there wasn't too much going on, i sold my car for 2K... 500 went to toyota, 1k went to my stepdad and 500 i think is going to me (or some other stupid fee).... work was alright, not much really to say tonight... i got a birthday card from tbodilly, kinda crazy, but cool.... i need to make him a cd and am not having the best of luck with it.. i think i'll put it aside for 2morrow, when i get some car crap settled, and when i beat the living daylights outta a v-ball........ .: Thought :. Its hard to tell friends that you really care about them, most of it is unexplainable.

.: Thought :. You know the world hates you when theres no stars out

Ahhhh.... relaxation... today was quite pleasent...actually it was totally awesome.... shooot, we did stuff today, one of which was bowling... that was definitely fun.. i have to say... 130 and 135 are kinda low, but hey, its the best that i've had in the past 18 times i've gone or so... feels kinda good to win.... i dont know what else i want to say right now, i'm quite tired and would like to retire peacefully and with a blank mind.. .: Thought :. Life is quite enjoyable with great friends......

As for right now.. i dont know exactly what i'll be doing tonight, there aren't too many plans... i'm at karalee's right now and she's cleanin her room and singin.... well, i'll be back sometime to keep myself updated... .: Thought :. I think i just thought of this, but i like my hair..... (but its kinda odd)

Well, last night was pretty tight i guess.. i saw a cool show, justin's band dealy-o... a fight almost broke out, freakin parents.. always gotta do their job, argh... this kid totally deserved to get his butt royally beaten down.. i mean, the guy hit a freakin girl, threw her on the floor and whatnot.. the band members were all going to go kick the guy's mass.... After that show we went to go see anotehr show way across the freakin city, it was freakin bomb... Denver Method was rockin the house royally... i love the guitars and what not, and their drummer was MAD CRAZY!! she's so good... yea, she.. i stayed up to like... 4:30 dyin my hair along with kimball's and lawerence's also.. it took forever, but it was still bomb.. kimball's mohawk ios pretty tight, its got a different shade to it and it's really nice.. it like changes from dark to light every other angle... i mean its tight yo... What else... well, not too much, Karalee's date went well... after we met up with them at the bowling ally, not much happened, i dont know exactly what we did.... i just know afterwards, we went to INO and i felt like stayin in the car.. well, i guess thats it... .: Thought :. People always say they should try not to grow up too fast.. but i guess theres a point at which you kinda have to and you're hurled into it like vomit in toilet thats goin down.... .: Another Thought :. I like my hair....

well, as u can see, there are some bugs that i'm going to have to settle out with freakin Geocities (they suck)... so i'll have crap uploaded and such so that everything looks all good and butiful....... anyway, i'm in class again, i'm bored as usual and i'm not exactly doin my work... heh.. infact i thought i failed this class... turns out that i just passed with a 69%.. i was like, whoa.... o well, kinda cool since i haven't done jack crap in the class since the beginning of the school year.... Hahahaha... kinda... karalee's goin on a date!!! hahahahhaaa... maybe i'm going to be bored!!! muhuahhahah.... karalee is going on a date.... thats funny ha ha... alright i'm done for now, i just thought that was funny .: Thought :. Sometimes stupid people even think they're stupid... weird eh?

Hey well looky at the time, its like....... 1:09ish... today was alright, nothing goes perfectly well, i dont think i've ever had a perfect day in my life.... i've had one that was close... just cuz it was fun awesome and just enjoyable, but then the day ended... well, it was all good, watched a good movie- catch me if you can- the guy was genius....it was insane.. I went out with Karalee and Scott to see it... I love people who get mad at annoying people. annoying people are annoying. what more is there to say, i think everyone has their days but some more than others, i know i am annoying, i kinda want people to say, dang you're annoying. I think it'd be funny... i think i'd be gettin it so often just cuz i'm me...Sometimes, i just want to go out and be the name that shudders "annoying" when spoken just for fun.... i learned a long time ago that you shouldn't let others control you, everyone has heard that or a similar version of that of course... then theres the part that i come up with a lot.... why do you give me so much power as to let me control your emotions?? am i not making you mad?? I guess in this manner, i'm a control freak, every now and then, i like testing people to see how fast i can get them mad off of being annoying... If this world was perfect, people wouldn't get mad over stupid things.... kinda shows how far from perfection we all are and how much we can work on it eh? wow, i just came up with like, a couple different things taht were half deep, how cool is that?? anyway, the night was fun, i dont know why i torture karalee as i do (poking, keepin her up... etc..) i don't know why i laugh when i totally stuff someone in basketball, i dont know why i think that right after i laugh that i may have hurt the other guy's feelings... and i don't know why i would care about the other guy's feelings if i dont know them... and what the living daylights am i really talking about right now?? i swear i was trying to conclude this freakin part of the freakin thing... this is it, i'm out night. One last thing....did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too?? do we really think we are making progress toward our destination? "Whew, I thought we would be late, but now that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and a danish!" .: Thought :. There is no such thing as a perfect day. Even if it was perfect.... the day ended. In a perfect world, there would be no conflicts... that just shows how far from inperfection we are.

Ohhh yea, i'm tired. thats it, its like... now and freakin i'm in class and i can't do jack crap in it... i'm tryin to drop it.. i want to get 4 classes so i can at least work and get some good hours at work... if i'm going to move out soon, then i'm really going to need some financial support, hopefully just from me working and whatnot........ and then i need save up to repair my car..... sounds fun eh? I swear, if it weren't for my friends, i wouldn't be sane in this world... as written in my hard copy journal, my brothers and my friends are my family, my parents are just kinda there....... they put me out of the picture, so why can't i? then again, why dont i just forgive and forget... i'll figure that out later... but anyway, my friends are so awesome to me and if they just knew how much i appreciated them.... shoot... if i could, i'd give them a gift that was not even worldly..... yea, well i think i should get back to programming and such... mesa out. .: Thought :. Paying attention to something doens't mean that you're learning something.... or does it?

I'm still here... somebody shoot me, i'm freakin watchin celebrity mole and crap... freakin they're all aeatin peppers and what not....... and I DONT WANT TO GO TO FREAKIN SCHOOL TOMORROW!! I seriously have senioritis er somethin or whateve rhat's freakin called.... as i said before, i think i have a disease called stupidity...... whatelse can i be doing right now.. let me think, oh yea, i can be sleeping and enjoin something and maybe forget about everything just like someone said, but anyway, i best be goin.. .: Quote :. Life sucks... maybe... who knows..

Well i guess i'm back again, i dont know if i'm goin out or not, seems like i'm not... heck, i think i'm just gonna go out and run 32 miles and come home... well i talked with my mom about my situation, she was bein a total biznitch any solutions... she wants me to work on the car... well i said ok, then i'll need the car to be over here at my house... nope, thats not going to happen.. well i don't understand what she wants... i found a running engine thats exactly the same as mine, but workin of course, and said hey, i'll buy this and we'll put it in... nope, not good enough for her.... Sell my car as junk, get a cheap but reliable car? nope.... well what the freak does she freakin want from me?? and why the heck am i even here right now typing on this pos computer that i haven't upgraded for years? and why the heck am i just thinkin about all this stuff now when i should be outside running or doing something different than just sittin here doin jack crap and gettin all pissed off about it??!?!? someone tell me these things!!! i swear i need a personal counselor, maybe even a doctor.. mental even, coem on people why the ehck am i like this? I seem to have a cure for this stupid mental disease called stupidity! So am i, still waiting for this world to stop hating, can't find a good reason can't find hope to believe in..... .: Quote :. I seem to have a cure for this stupid mental disease called stupidity! .: Thought :. I feel so alone, by myself in a cruel world that no one likes.....

Yea, well, things went well today i believe.... there were some odds n ends that were just like, huh? and then there was the good stuff and the bad stuff.....well... startin off with the bad stuff... i dont have a car anymore... well, i do, it just doesn't work anymore.. um... lets see... it wasn't under warranty and would've cost $6,000 to repair, so i don't think that is going to happen.... I'm tryin to see if i can buy off Todd's camaro... i dont know what exactly would happen with that... Yea well what can i say, maybe i took advantage of the fact that i had a car, and i didn't appreciate it.... well it sure sucks for both me and my stepdad/mom... he put in that much money to help me out, and i destroyed it, yea it kinda sucks...... i hope that he doesn't do anything to help repair it.... anyway, i'm just kinda iffy right now and feel like just chillin out..... i screwed myself and i'm back to where i was before... .: Thought :. Its nice to be appreciated by others, but its nicer to appreciate other people.

Well not too much went on today, most of it was spent at home by myself... I cleaned most of my room, kinda organized it, well, not really... um, what else... did my laundry, watched 4 dvd's... um, most of all, just spent time thinking, and lots of it... it was most definately worth it.... Couldn't tell ya what i was thinkin about, but i did a lot of it... well i did that from like... 11:00 to around 9, when Russell called me up.. yea, we had fun last night/this mornin, it was fun... thats all... then we went back to 165.. yea.. that was fun i guess.... bobbo and i had some fun.. then i started thinkin again, and thinkin and thinkin.. even at breakfast, still thinkin... and thinkin, wow i guess i'm a thinker.. anyway, that was mostly it... no phone calls except from Russell, i guess he's the only one that knows that the phone works 2 ways.... .: Quote :. A promise is all about faith. A promise is only as strong as your own faith in your own self, in your own god. So when you swear, in the light of your strengths and in spite of your weaknesses, to struggle and follow through, you are doing a beautiful thing. .: Thought:. Yea, sometimes life sucks, but then you die right? so what happens when life rocks? .: Stupid thing :. Sir Loinobeef

.:Thought:. Chance (n.): a coin with two sides that one tosses into the air as many times as one wants. The odds remain the same. Life is boring with out taking chances, chances with luck, chances with girls.. ya know... , chances are there, you might as well try....... no matter how many you take, the odds will remain the same.

Wow, i'm cleaning my room right now!! Its amazing!!!!

Yea, so like... stuff has happened, yesterday mornin i got my car towed to the dealership... fun stuff actually. Then i went to work, i can't exactly say was the best thing ever to do but it was alright... it was kinda odd actually, i did some dumb stuff last time i worked handheld and got in trouble with Blando's wife... yea, well she told Larry and what not and i got the crap i deserved... odd enough, yesterday, he puts be back on handheld, and reluctantly i do it... I duno if i was doin well or not, but every now and then i'd get scolded, but o well i got over it.. then around the end of my shift, i got a complement from a customer... i duno, but i thought it was weird... i was kinda pissed off when i came inside and didnt feel like talkin to anyone, i didn't know and still don't really know why. Well, then as usual, Karalee came to comfort me. I said i was alright and i'd live. Truthfully, thats all that i felt, couldn't tell her much more behind whatever. Well, she kept on askin and i kept on sayin nothin's wrong.. I guess i was pretty rude, but then afterwards, she got all happy, she said that she had a tape from todd, i just swirled my finger like i'd normally do when she says stuff about todd... i.e he's cute... Well, she snapped, "What the hell is wrong with you" well that was the first time i've ever heard her say anythin like that to me, so i replied... what did you say? and of course she just said what is wrong with you.. i just walked out kinda stunned, but not really caring. Vanessa was really kind to me last night.. She let me borrow her car even though she has never seen me drive, or even drive with me. I took Useless out to do whatever he needed to do, but it quickly got under my skin... he made me drive up and down eastern around 9 times or so... around the 3rd time i kept repeating to myself... Vanessa was very friendly to me, so i in turn should be friendly to others.. but what in the world!!! he made me drive up and down eastern over and over again when all i really wanted to do was drive him home and drive myself home!! Then i picked up Lawerence, he helped me get out of the annoyed mood and we went to a sweeeeeet sushi buffet. Sure it cost a lot but it was really worth it!. Oh yea, he came with me down to 81 do so some junk. I knew he really didnt want to, but it was great that he came with me anyway. Then we messed with Vanessa through the window at 165, it was fun... Finally i went inside, i didn't really know what i was thinkin er anything but i decided to stay there even though people offered me rides and alternate ways of goin home. I still stayed there, i guess i just wanted to stay and chill with Karalee after closing.. Well durning closing and stuff i just did stuff in the dinin room... and sat around. During closing, i heard Karalee swear a couple of times, then a couple of times more... i dont think she really noticed or cared... thats when i just kept thinkin and junk..... I rely on one's word, if someone says that he'll do something, i trust that he'll do it, or try hard to do as close as possible to it.... and i try to do the same, if i say i'll do something, i either do it or get as close to doing it. Eh... Karalee i guess has a problem with cussing and junk, and she's told me multiple times that its good that i hang out with her (so she can stop) and she herself said that she'd try to stop cussing.. Well with that and the cussing i heard that night, i believe that she isn't really trying to stop...I was kinda like, my efforts are kinda worthless as seen by me before... (i stopped tryin with Ashley (when i was around)...i mean... why do i really want to help her if she doesn't want to help herself ...) and it pissed me off... i really thought that she was better than that, as to stand by her word per say. Heh, well 2 days before, i wrote karalee some stuff from the heart and what not... and i didnt get to give it to her... Well i guess it wasn't the best time in the world to give it to her, but when she dropped me off, i gave it to her, said watch her swearin and went inside... this just started a big thinking train.... and it just bothered me..... Today i didn't do jack crap, i woke up at 3:48 and didn't do anything, felt kinda bad that i didn't go to church...... i sat around watching tv and sleepin and wakin up watchin tv and sleepin... only got 2 phone calls today... kinda fun eh? still didn't do too much.. o well dont know what to do, and there ain't much to do right now, just typin away and typin down 1/18 of what flows through my head... well i guess thats it for right now, i'll catch it later Quote of the day- Loneliness can injure anyone Thought- My butt hurts

Well its been awhile since i've been here and talking, i have nothing else better to do.. its freakin january the third and i think i'll be gettin myself back into this deal... This and my friends keep me sane i believe... well not much to really talk about right now, i dont feel like typing a 50million thingys.. so i'll just say.. hey my car broke down again and life is good... what more is there to say.... ::Quote of the day- When something goes wrong.... remember, it could always be worse =P Thought of the day- Putting peanutbutter on your hands doesn't help you catch a football...