Well, the night finished up quite like normal nights would... the same ending with me dropping off Karalee... which totally isn't bad at all, i actually like doin it =P... hmm but anyway it was fun.... started off doing lunch with Sj... she made a pretty good chicken dish.. kinda similar to karalee's chicken enchiladas, but definately not better... Sj and Ashley O. were already there... while Kimball, Mike Wilson and I made our ways down to her house... it was enjoyable..... Afterwards I made my way down to kimballs house to watch a movie with him... i slept though most of it... i've seen it before so i was like woot woot.....then we took off... he had some stuff to do... so then i went home for a little bit to get some food and headed over to my mom's place... i got some mongolian beef... good stuff =P, doug and her gave me $200 and a red oakley shirt... pretty cool stuff... then i went down to In-and-out to see my favorite buddy and the other peeps at work... i talked to ian for a while before i actually went in......lawerence got me an awesome game that i played in japanese a long long time ago.. he found it in english and bought it for me... i thought that was awesome... Karalee got off 15 mins after i got there.... for some odd reason we were freakin there forever after she was off..... i was doin some studid stuff like stuffing myself in a can and gettin rolled into the stand... and Karalee just took time not getting dressed..... well, i took her back to her place... she showered, got ready, and looked hotter while i called bobbo... he came over... then we were off to Luv it... a really good custard place.. 2nd time being there and it was gooda stuff... we chilled there for a while then met kimball back at store 150... we chilled there for a while and that was it... i took the goofy one home and that was it.... now i'm here an hour later and stuff... well that was it.... Odd enough, people care... i had too many phone calls reach me today... i started off with like 100 mins today and ended up with 22 on my cell... most of the minutes went to Sj and kimball... others were to like Jolynn 3 times in the day and missy and a plethora of others.. So.. it ended... like a normal night would.... I'm kinda iffy right now... kinda happy, kinda sad... kimball and i talked about girls.... well, that was a fun subject to talk about.. seeing that i dont really have/had any girls to talk about... but it continued anyway... i kept it going for some reason... i think i have to take care of my cats and junk a little more... i got a feeling that lyra gets a little more hungry than i think... milky is just wierd..... i concluded that whenever i just think... i cause stress to myself... thats it, i'm through... .:Thought:. Only when you are yourself is when you'll find something that others wont..

Its my b-day.... super....great... perfect.... isn't that whats to be expected? What if you weren't expecting anything, i wasn't expecting people to care... for the most part.. i got what i expected... I myself dont even care... i thought it was odd, but it was nice that Jolynn called me at 12, only reason for it was because Scott said that i could be legally out past curfew... Well, since that happened... should i expect that this day would be "special"? awesome? or any different from the other days that i hang out on? Couldn't tell you or me an answer just because i could care less. But anyway... i am 18 now... la dee freakin da... lets buy some cigarettes and in a sparratic trance.... throw them at a cop car.... Early start on this mornin (12:00am-3:32am)...... It was.. how an aggravated, flummoxed, and deceived person would put it..... not all that stellar... it was long and what not... i didn't feel like being anywhere, but then i was in just a blah mood... i thought that if i went somewhere, i'd actually have a mood to be in.... well, i went somewhere, and in the words of anyone smart..... kinda really sucked and could've been better if i got hit with a baseball bat upside the head then locked in a freezer with man-eating clams with giant tongues.... my mood changed from blah, to Blah. But there's always worse.... .: Comments or otherwise slander :. Life is made out to be a big show to make people happy isnt it......

.: Expected Things :. Life not going well Not knowing someone as well as you thought Not being able see things that make you happy Not being able to do things that make you happy Rain Pain when you punch a wall A ticket after being pulled over by 3 cop cars and a helicopter Being pissed Being hungry Eating something that you really didn't want to Meeting someone you know Seeing someone you didn't really want to see Hanging out when there's nothing else to do Waiting Music Fun Laughter Respect Love Special treatment for nothing Mail The sun rising and the moon setting My cell phone ringing My room being messy My car being slow Being sick Being tired Being sick and tired Being confused about things Lack of motivation Not having something that you wish you could have Not going somewhere you wish you could go Not having someone that you wish you could have Not being someone that you wish you could be ¤: ' :¤ .: Thought :. Life is a giant "If... Then..." Statement without any "Else" parts to it...

well.. its been 4 days i guess.... everythin is alright, or so... work has been kinda cool, just a little slow... school has been very slow, time doesn't seem to pass too fast... i've been in a better mood after getting something outta my mind.... i didn't really care for that thing too much anyway... volleyball intermaurals and stuff have started... i showed up my coach and other players today... felt kinda good... didn't exactly get my dose of karalee or anyone today... got the normal Sj phonecall.... um.. other stuff happened today.. kinda crazy... don't feel like talkin bout it too much.... i'm tired i need to go to bed... (like that's really going to happen) anyway.. i'm out .: Thought :. I miss things...

well i guess its been a while since i really felt like typing ont his deal thing... i just had too much crap on my mind... lucky for me, i have volleyball to take care of my stress.... well my car runs perfectly well.. had to fix it up a little... i bought some open box rockford fosgate 4" speakers for it... they sound pretty good, i just dont have any bass in my car... work has been pretty different... i worked 6 days last week, but not longer than 3 hours on each day... i wasn't really into working or even being there that whole week... but i had to go anyway.... oh yea.. i started to work the day shifts on friday.... hopefully i'll be gettin a little more money to help support myself and what not... Last night i went on this little triple date.... i didn't really want to go but i did it for kimball... kimball set up the whole night really well, he didn't really tell me much about what we were doing that night but it was really cool (for him and vanessa).... i picked up a bunch of ideas and what not.... but i dont think that i'll be usin them anytime soon... um... overall, it was very uncomfortable for me, but i'm glad that kimball, vanessa, christina and santiago had fun.... lately i've just been thinking about so much crap that its probably affecting my life a little to much... also what i think about doesn't exactly help too much... i think i've been a jerk to some people and didn't really know it... I haven't been using my phone the last week... infact, i have more minutes than i have ever had at this time during the month... i guess i can say that i'm sick of calling people again and really don't care if i hang out with whoever and what not... i still feel like staying at home... .: Thought :. Why me?

Well, its sunday.... i ended up with an 86 crx for $1150.. its got a bit of work to do on it... if i can just get it to handle the highway, i'll be happy..... well, yesterday was alright.. i bought the car and what not, stopped by in-n-out 81 to say hi... drove home.. went to work.. came home... chilled... worked on the freakin car... rode with kimball around to everywhere to find a rose for vanessa (his valentine n junk) then basicly came home to do nothing....... yea that was it.. currently, i'm just sitting here at home.. i just got home from church, i guess i was supposed to follow karalee to her parents house, but i didn't really know it, i was kinda like, well, from the sound of it, they're goin home, karalee's takin a shower n what not... eh i guess i'm goin home too... beats me really well, thats 2 garbers out on missions... its really kinda crazy.. what the heck... why do i really type on this freakin thing.... .: Thought :. what is wrong with me

Well.... what to say... yesterday was both fun and disappointing. Hmm... Lets start off with school.. it was gay... Now that i'm done with that, junk came around... I was about to buy my freakin Crx today. It turns out that it was sold yesterday for $1200... freakin pissed me off.. i had set upz, hook upz, deals and steals for that freakin car.. and now there is hardly any way that i can get another one... i mean.. 91 si with no body damage. IT FREAKIN SUCKS!! now i gotta find some other car... that just means more time to waste and what not.. Well i got myself into lookin at an auto 86 CRX, it costs $1500. 86 isn't really an attractive year, but i bet i could do some conversions to make it look tight and the auto could be swapped =P... um what else.... i got an 87 Integra and an 89 integra to look at also.. Both are around the same price range... $1700 and $1600... Hopefully i can get this situation out of my stressed life.. Sj's b-day was fun. I think we enjoyed it all, it was just one normal hang out time and whatnot.. i was once again a psycho maniac with some mental problems that wouldn't seize to exist. it was fun though... Other crap has just been gettin to me lately.. just small things, i don't know exactly why these things bug me, but they do... People in general are getting under my skin. and this shirt that i'm wearing isn't smelling so well... smoke sucks..... and the Jones Naturals Fu cran Fu is pretty good... little different but good.... i still need to find a close place to find some jones soda.... argh... I got asked by one of my friends... how are the girls doin?? heh, i just said, what girls? couldn't tell ya much really..... he nodded as he didn't believe me.. I think that there's somethin goin around that i'm doin somethin with some chick i don't even know... kinda crazy but i guess thats life... Well, it wouldn't be bad if this chick was freakin fine... tha'd be a plus.... hehe... but the probability is............ ahem.. not so good. Heh, i guess they just want to see me with someone since they've never seen me with anyone before... i just laughed... Church basketball was fun.. i was goofing around the whole time.. i was kinda mockin the other team's star player... it was pretty bad for him.. their team thought that they were all that.. they were all showin attitude towards us, example : I grabbed a rebound, and one of my teammates got a foul... well i had the ball and one of their little short guys, who i pissed off apparantly, snatched the ball outta my hands like he was the big man around the court... It was exciting.. later on, there was a loose ball that i jumped on.. some little puny guy decided to grab the ball from under me.. i held on and he held on, but i was just like la la la.. and he was showing frustration and anger as he squirmed to get the ball outta my hands... well about 2 seconds in.. i kinda flipped him over my body, not on purpose of course.... its kinda hard not the flip a freakin 25 pound pint sized brat over your body while rolling... yea that kid was pissed for the rest of the game..... we ended up winning... we doubled their freakin score, and i dont think that those little brats are any cool with me or kimball (as he totally had my back that whole game)... if anythin, they are all sorts of bitter.. Really, i'm thankful for my stepdad to take me out to the junkyard to check out some other cars... infact i'm really grateful that he even considered helping me get another car after i caused him to loose 7k dollars... dispite all the money, he was willing to serve me and help me through the problem and he also helped me realize that another car that i wanted to buy was a bad deal although the freakin car was fast.... i'm honestly happy that he's helping me.. I'm going to make an effort to offer my services towards others in the next couple weeks... .: Thought :. Life is like tennis, its a lot better when you can serve... I want a car... (reliable, fast, good lookin and in good shape, did i also mention import?)

Guy is banned in every pub/club in UK

Oh yea, its SJ's b-day in about... 37 mins

Woot woot, once again, not too busy of a day, i slept through most of, hoping that i would find something to do with anyone (didn't exactly happen although i didn't put any effort out).. Well I got home from school early and all that jazz, got to my computer, and blasted a heck of a lot of music. That lasted for about 2 hours.. then i hit my bed hard.. i didn't wake up until like 7 or so when kimball called my cell... i wish he called earlier, i would've gone to my ward's activity. Well instead i went and played some v-ball at school with the team and what not... that was quite enjoyable, i got most of my stress (like i have any right?) out there. well that got over around 9:30, i got home at about 9:40... Sj called around i duno.. like 10 or so, we talked for a little, at that time i was just settlin in to my bed with my binder and classical music goin.. i was about to write an essay... which i need to type soon.... and well, i got the written part down, and its like 11:14... i haven't talked to ashley or even karalee for that fact.. or jacob, or anyone else really for a while now... heh, i had a guy at school tellin me that i was depressed... i kinda snapped at the guy tellin him how he wouldn't know if i was depressed. He doesn't even know me, i dont even know the guy's name for the life of me.. But he came up to me and said, i've been watchin you lately and i think you're depressed... i was just kinda like... why the freak would you be watchin me and why would you even come to me and even say that i was depressed.. i honestly dont know why i would be depressed if anything right now.. i got some things goin for me that i'm totally happy about (if things turn out right and what not)... i swear i was gonna knock him out or something.. maybe give him a wedgie and hang him on the lockers... but instead i just laughed... ugh crap, i still gotta go and write todd 32 times.. i've been really slackin lately... and i gotta push myself to look for these songs that he wants n junk... i miss the guy but i'll live... oh yea, i was hungry enough to actually cook what i bought.... i was kinda happy with what i cooked.... Spaghetti with a mushroom spaghetti sauce (which i added ground beef and chopped onions into)... along with some bread... i enjoyed it hehe.. its not too often that i actually cook somethin i like/want to eat. anyway i'm done... .: Thought :. I bit my tongue

Yea, i'm still awake.. kinda pissed off, but its cool... i'll live... i just took a shower... kinda fun.... yea, well anyway.. i just thought that.... nevermind.... i'm out

Woot .: Thought :. woot....

... I'm bored... my theme today was... i'm bored... it was like, Hi, i'm bored how are you? its like drinking a refreshing can of I'm bored, you know, the one that tastes like wood and sawdust... ugh.. well i wasn't really too bored, i picked up my speakers from the junkyard.. got to take a look a the CRX some more, most likely i'm gonna get it... i hope... either that or a 1993 Eagle Talon Turbo for 1,500....well i don't relaly care too much about the car right now.. i think i can hold off without it, i just dont need to go out every night with my friends and do stupid things like have fun. Its not like you have to have a car to live well eh? Um, work was alright today... i got my 3.25 hours.. pretty short stuff.... i haven't gotten myself into any deep thoughts lately.. i guess that its been better that way... when you dont dwell on the things that get you depressed, life gets a little better... i think.. .: Thought :. I wonder what i'm doing 2morrow?

Well yesterday was quite fun, i woke up at 4 to go hand out freakin water and Ultima crap to marathon runners.. It was freakin windy and dusty.. it really sucked, but i guess it was worth it.. Normally the marathon runners would swear at you and what not.. well this time out there, they were all sayin thanks and how much they appreciate us doing this stuff for them... it felt kinda good...well, i got home around 11... then i went to sleep till 5.. i totally missed out on church. Not much really went on after that.. i basicly stayed home and chilled with my computer and music.... the sole idea behind it was to have a substitute for fun.. Today was alright... i just wanted to go home the whole day.. At school i didn't let anything bother me.. i just kept to my spacy self and trucked through school... then at work i didn't let too much bother me again, i wasn't really bothered there either.. i got off early @ 6:45.... right now i'm just chillin at home typin away at this computer just wonderin who'll be callin on my phone next, or wonderin what else is there to do besides stare at the beer bottle on the top of my fridge... i wonder how that beer is going to go away... its been sittin there forever and ever and ever all alone in the corner.. o well. i need to get some new strings for my guitars soon... i'm getin kinda annoyed by that.. um.. what else... oh nothin else... who cares anyway.. .: Thought :. Leave me alone Yea, well after that last post, i went to go get some groceries and what not.. my mom dropped me off, i spent exactly all the cash i had in my pockets... it was kinda cool, i guess i'm pretty good at knowing what i can buy with my money...it was fun... 2morrow i'm going to go to pick up my speakers and hopefully get some more info on this CRX... I also talked to karalee about an hour ago... i dont know why, but i really enjoy talkin to her, and even when i'm not talkin, its just awesome to listen to her, its kinda fun... yea, well i think thats it.... .: Thought :. My butt hurts, food is good. - Doubt thou the stars are fire. - Doubt that the sun doth move, - Doubt truth to be a liar, - But never doubt I love. -Hamlet

Change your Blinker Fluid

The Bad Fads Museum - Cabbage Patch Dolls

The Flying Cow - Flash

The Turd Twister!

Once again, another half boring day... i racked Bobbo's balls in basketball on accident.. that was just about the highlight of my day... then i also saw Final Destination 2... i have to say that that is one insane movie and the person who came up with that has a sick sick mind that should be soaked in vinegar then then sauteed with mushrooms and fed to dogs..... Other than that... i've had my joyrides... i feel like i'm missing a part of me and i need something to fill it in... i dont know what will fill it, but i'll find it sometime... .: Thought :. Life is a challenge... Really, is it worth it?