Hey well looky at the time, its like....... 1:09ish... today was alright, nothing goes perfectly well, i dont think i've ever had a perfect day in my life.... i've had one that was close... just cuz it was fun awesome and just enjoyable, but then the day ended... well, it was all good, watched a good movie- catch me if you can- the guy was genius....it was insane.. I went out with Karalee and Scott to see it... I love people who get mad at annoying people. annoying people are annoying. what more is there to say, i think everyone has their days but some more than others, i know i am annoying, i kinda want people to say, dang you're annoying. I think it'd be funny... i think i'd be gettin it so often just cuz i'm me...Sometimes, i just want to go out and be the name that shudders "annoying" when spoken just for fun.... i learned a long time ago that you shouldn't let others control you, everyone has heard that or a similar version of that of course... then theres the part that i come up with a lot.... why do you give me so much power as to let me control your emotions?? am i not making you mad?? I guess in this manner, i'm a control freak, every now and then, i like testing people to see how fast i can get them mad off of being annoying... If this world was perfect, people wouldn't get mad over stupid things.... kinda shows how far from perfection we all are and how much we can work on it eh? wow, i just came up with like, a couple different things taht were half deep, how cool is that?? anyway, the night was fun, i dont know why i torture karalee as i do (poking, keepin her up... etc..) i don't know why i laugh when i totally stuff someone in basketball, i dont know why i think that right after i laugh that i may have hurt the other guy's feelings... and i don't know why i would care about the other guy's feelings if i dont know them... and what the living daylights am i really talking about right now?? i swear i was trying to conclude this freakin part of the freakin thing... this is it, i'm out night. One last thing....did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too?? do we really think we are making progress toward our destination? "Whew, I thought we would be late, but now that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and a danish!" .: Thought :. There is no such thing as a perfect day. Even if it was perfect.... the day ended. In a perfect world, there would be no conflicts... that just shows how far from inperfection we are.

Ohhh yea, i'm tired. thats it, its like... now and freakin i'm in class and i can't do jack crap in it... i'm tryin to drop it.. i want to get 4 classes so i can at least work and get some good hours at work... if i'm going to move out soon, then i'm really going to need some financial support, hopefully just from me working and whatnot........ and then i need save up to repair my car..... sounds fun eh? I swear, if it weren't for my friends, i wouldn't be sane in this world... as written in my hard copy journal, my brothers and my friends are my family, my parents are just kinda there....... they put me out of the picture, so why can't i? then again, why dont i just forgive and forget... i'll figure that out later... but anyway, my friends are so awesome to me and if they just knew how much i appreciated them.... shoot... if i could, i'd give them a gift that was not even worldly..... yea, well i think i should get back to programming and such... mesa out. .: Thought :. Paying attention to something doens't mean that you're learning something.... or does it?

I'm still here... somebody shoot me, i'm freakin watchin celebrity mole and crap... freakin they're all aeatin peppers and what not....... and I DONT WANT TO GO TO FREAKIN SCHOOL TOMORROW!! I seriously have senioritis er somethin or whateve rhat's freakin called.... as i said before, i think i have a disease called stupidity...... whatelse can i be doing right now.. let me think, oh yea, i can be sleeping and enjoin something and maybe forget about everything just like someone said, but anyway, i best be goin.. .: Quote :. Life sucks... maybe... who knows..

Well i guess i'm back again, i dont know if i'm goin out or not, seems like i'm not... heck, i think i'm just gonna go out and run 32 miles and come home... well i talked with my mom about my situation, she was bein a total biznitch any solutions... she wants me to work on the car... well i said ok, then i'll need the car to be over here at my house... nope, thats not going to happen.. well i don't understand what she wants... i found a running engine thats exactly the same as mine, but workin of course, and said hey, i'll buy this and we'll put it in... nope, not good enough for her.... Sell my car as junk, get a cheap but reliable car? nope.... well what the freak does she freakin want from me?? and why the heck am i even here right now typing on this pos computer that i haven't upgraded for years? and why the heck am i just thinkin about all this stuff now when i should be outside running or doing something different than just sittin here doin jack crap and gettin all pissed off about it??!?!? someone tell me these things!!! i swear i need a personal counselor, maybe even a doctor.. mental even, coem on people why the ehck am i like this? I seem to have a cure for this stupid mental disease called stupidity! So am i, still waiting for this world to stop hating, can't find a good reason can't find hope to believe in..... .: Quote :. I seem to have a cure for this stupid mental disease called stupidity! .: Thought :. I feel so alone, by myself in a cruel world that no one likes.....

Yea, well, things went well today i believe.... there were some odds n ends that were just like, huh? and then there was the good stuff and the bad stuff.....well... startin off with the bad stuff... i dont have a car anymore... well, i do, it just doesn't work anymore.. um... lets see... it wasn't under warranty and would've cost $6,000 to repair, so i don't think that is going to happen.... I'm tryin to see if i can buy off Todd's camaro... i dont know what exactly would happen with that... Yea well what can i say, maybe i took advantage of the fact that i had a car, and i didn't appreciate it.... well it sure sucks for both me and my stepdad/mom... he put in that much money to help me out, and i destroyed it, yea it kinda sucks...... i hope that he doesn't do anything to help repair it.... anyway, i'm just kinda iffy right now and feel like just chillin out..... i screwed myself and i'm back to where i was before... .: Thought :. Its nice to be appreciated by others, but its nicer to appreciate other people.