Well.. well... well.....

Surreal Reality... Yeah, no joke really. Some days, the recipe for my happiness is pretty simple... You mix me, with some of the Squires and its fun and games... There are seriously some days where its like, wow, they're really a big part of my life. Kinda good and kinda bad really... I've really been hanging out with them for who knows how long.. and it seems like just them for who knows how long... it goes back to that whole priority deal from years back... a lot of the time, they're my main priority... cool... or rather dumb. I really love them all. I wouldn't know where'd I'd be without them, and probably who I'd be. I think the bad thing is that I feel as if I've grown dependant on them... I can hang out with Britt, do nothing and totally be content... I could drive around with Elyssa or go shopping or whatever, and be fine.. Hang out with Ash and Robert while watching tv or hangin at their house and its alright... Kick it with Keekee and Todd and Tyler and be just fine.. Try kickin it with anyone else or chillin at home sometimes really sucks, cuz I'd rather just hang out with any of them. Its been kinda crazy now a days though... I've been in more contact with Elyssa and Britt in the past 2 months than I have in the past couple years. Mostly Elyssa though. We play WoW, and its a total blast... Britt plays too occassionally... but I don't really play with her much, she's never on when I'm on, and the one time she texts me to play, I'm in Hans Klok with her sisters haha.... Eh... I really think I'm just creating this whole deal as a scapegoat for my stress.. I probably don't have any problem with hanging out with other people.. or something... I think I mask things up... The related stories of the past couple months are quite the extremes. Dad got diagnosed with cancer... Ian threw all his belongings away, Ian and I got into a little fight, I told Ian that I'm cutting relations with him, Dad doesn't have cancer, but an abcess, I'm worrying about money because of time I took off. Dad got an estate plan for basically nothing... I bought Dad and Aerobed and overdrafted my account and had him pay for what the bed actually cost, I worked on my Jeep to hopefully run with better gas milage, and it's working so far, I had to miss out on 2 weeks of church and 2 weeks of institute... I think that's also a big deal too... I got some dental work done, but need a whole lot more dental work done, about 3k worth, but insurance will only cover 2k, and I need to come up with the deductibles for the what nots.... I'm not driving as much, so not as much money, all the bills are due, and I wasnt' really smart in the past weeks with my money... I really am creating the world I'm living in. I can do better. The whole Dad thing was a different experience, but its something that I needed to experience. Another thing... I miss cuddling and holding a girl... its rather comforting in an odd way... I really miss it sometimes. My choices in girls are crazy, and the girls that I want to go for know that I'm crazy... and it'll never work to my knowledge. Pictures have been fun... I haven't been taking as many as I usually take, but thats alright. I've caught some really good moments though... My favorite Brizzie... gasping... totally perfect, I couldn't have asked for a better picture of her expression. Man I love that girl. Its been fun shooting Tyler too, she's such a cute kid. She totally chilled with me at the ward halloween party, I dont' think any kid was THAT attached to me... EVER... and like I know what to do with kids... ha.. man I really suck with them... This weekend is the Hump 'n Bump off roading event thingy in I think Logandale... I think I might go.. No one else'll probably go with me... all the people who I think would like to go, have to take family pictures on that day. But that night I'll be out off roading again and taking pictures with Crystal and some of her friends... I wish I could bring some people, it'd be less uncomfortable for me that way... I'm really too lazy to finish this off, I've been on this computer for too long today.