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I may finally rejoice!! well for like 3 weeks... my dad is going back to taiwan till december 7th.... this will be interesting :).... way different actually... its kinda funny, my mom is back in taiwan as well.... well i guess i'm the only Liu in vegas from my family... its actually kinda scary... I know that i'm not where i want to be at this time and age... i'm kinda scared as to where i'll be in about 3 years.... i look at lots of my friends from chicago and they're all in respectable schools with respectable marks in class... then i look at me... i work at a burger place, haven't started school... barely living in my dad's place paying rent with a hell of a lot more crap than i need right now.... while they're havin fun with their sororities and gettin drunk haha.... i guess i better kick it in 2nd gear and do this right... but anyway... i'm all alone.... at home.... i guess its nothing too different... well i knew that my dad would be home if i needed to ever get yelled at, or my mom would be home if i ever needed some food... but now that they're both gone for 3-4 weeks... its like, now its me... all me.....

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I'm a moron

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It was cool today, Matt Beckstead actually came to church with me.. then afterwards, Sean and I made 78 wontons and gave half to his family and the other half to Brandon and Chelsa... I was hoping Karalee would be back home so she could have some... but she wasn't... I know she would've liked them a lot... I went to 88 afterwards, where I spent 2 and a half hours just chillin and talkin with Ashley, Becky and Kathy... They're funny... Becky hooked it up with some burgers, well 2 patties, a cheese patty, and a 3x2.... it was good stuff... she takes care of me when I hang out, its cool... anyway afterwards... sebastian had this crazy idea that all rim sizes are rim sizes -3.. so a 13 inch stock rim is a 10 inch rim... I told him he was on crack... I told him that my rims are 16's and he said that they were 13's... I was like, you're a dummmy.. then his friend was all like that too... Him and a festiva... or some crappy hatchback that was ghetto outta its mind... anyway, he's a crackhead and so is his friend... freakin they didn't ever hear of a 3 cylinder engine... they thought that I was on crack and stuff... I'm like you're retards, freakin Geo Metros had 3 cylinder engines.... freakin retards... oh I think I spend too much time and energy on these stupid people... they waste my time too much... There isn't much that happened after that... I really came home as fast as I can... seeing how bad these rims slow my acceleration down... and yea, they take turns a lot better, and the ride is so much smoother, but its hard for the car to spin these wheels... but oh well, I don't need to go that fast anymore, especially with this jacked up axle...

¤[Thought]¤
What happened with my sister and I? What did I do.....

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The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

House work is something you do that nobody notices unless you don't do it.

The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.

Beauty is only a light switch away.

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I'm pretty sure that Karalee is out of town right now.. well at least earlier today or something.. so ok... Closing really sucked tonight, I mean who ever thought that you would actually ask for Steve back? Danya.. holy shmolikesne I was really going to kill someone... well hopefully danya... anyway... I kept on using the line that I made up: I'm going to hit her with a crowbar until she bleeds, then slap her with the mop that I'm mopping her blood up with. It was just so frustrating... ugh... now that its over, I don't really remember too many bad things... Well except her nagging and her telling me to put more fries down when i had 3 baskets and she was wheeled and only had 1 row down... and the second grill was still going.... and I just about had to clean both grills at closing cuz it sucked... well I'm freakin done with that...

I made more wontons today... I tried bringing some to Brandon and Chelsa, but they couldn't be home before I worked... so well, I'm going to make some more tomorrow morning and hopefully get it to them tomorrow... I still have a lot of meat in the fridge... so anyway, I brought the ones that I did make into work and well, they were devoured... I was surprised... DANG IT, I forgot my tupperware... argh..

My dad keeps turning off my computer.. its getting really aggravating, I believe that I mentioned it before. Ahhh, I'm so stoked, I have my Holiday Havok tickets!! SO STOKED!!! WAY STOKED!! I can't WAIT!!! IT'LL BE SO TIGHT!!!....

Nothing else is really on my mind.. I know, its pretty sad, but O well... Screw it. La dee freakin da.... I'm going to sleep probably..

¤[Thought]¤
Poke me in the eye with a gun, then shoot me.... that's a lot better then shooting me in the eye with the gun, then poking me, cuz then I can feel the poke before I die.

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I dont know what to think still. I might be taking this all too hard. But still I still feel like I'm on another fake side of Karalee... I know that she's going to do certain things... I find out, well I don't intentionally find out, but people tell me things that she'll be doing.. and well, I won't know, or whatever... Just like her going to 88... found that out from Brittany then Ashley... Really, I shouldn't care so much. But I do care, and thats what really sucks... Its like I'm all happy at work, then I call Karalee and well, I'm not really spoken to for 4 minutes or so.. she's talking with everyone else... but what can I expect, I know better or something... I know.... The usual......whatever, I don't know what her usual is. I might know her better than I think I do, but well, at this point I'm not even thinking of that as an option... La la la, she's going out of town or something... Maybe she is, maybe she isn't, I've yet to find out.... She called tonight, we talked for about 24 seconds, then Kimball called her after he called me... Then later on she called me... like 3 hours later.. well, at least she called back like she said.... and well, we just talked, I really listen too much, it was mostly about how her day was so long, how she spent time with her family and how all sorts of differen't people are fabulous... or whatever, cute, or blah.... but that's her, sayin crap, loving them anyway... She mentioned something about her being lonely.... I shrugged it off and was thinking to myself... hell you hang out every day and with different people, how can you be freaking lonely... she somewhat answered my thought with something like its like her being lonely even though she hangs out with people everyday... like she's missing something..... who knows what that could be... it could be a freakin manicure for all thats out there.... i dont know..

There's hope... I don't see it, but I feel it. If it was ment to break, it would've broken down a while ago... I can't be excited to see her every time though... she's not exactly all that excited, or it seems like that... i dont know... i probably shouldn't improvise this crap that i dont know.. it'll be dangerous later on.......

We'll see.... if she ever has time... but time, is all about management... She can do it if she wants to... how bad is up to her...

as for me, I'll continue to take everything she says with a small coffee filter and little cream, I'll believe it when it happens, I'll believe it when its proven... i can't give any credit to her words... i've been broken too many times by that... sticking up for and her life... i should stop, but i probably wont...

¤[Thought]¤
Its draining my head.... too much think...

So be it.. just like one of those other lines Let it be... Fine... So be it. I'm done and finished with it. The stress isn't for me and isn't getting me anywhere. I'm at the point where its just like... I don't care about it anymore. It hurts too much and I need to just let it go. Working through this one isn't working. I guess its my move, and well I'm punting the ball as far as I can. And well, its her ball now. And well, if it doesn't work out then, I'm not going to cry, sure I would like it to work out, but I'm not going to stress over it anymore. Lawrence went to the concert... it was a blast from what I hear, I guess I missed out on all the goods. Lawrence found both a Hoobastank and an All American Rejects pick. He was nice enough to go ahead and call me a couple times during the concert to let me hear some of it... Too bad the reception was crappy, although I did get a couple songs... it was tight.. I just bought my Holiday Havok Tickets.... For December 11th!! it was a total impulse buy, but o well... I'm going to this one no matter what and I'm going to love it... GO YELLOWCARD!!!

Putting one foot in front of the other... will get you where you need to be even if it is slow.. "It's strange ya know. Everyone goes away in the end. Even if i want to hang on to people they have to do what they have to do. I can not stop them from doing what is right for them... Even if that does mean leaving the state. I should worry more about what is goin on in my life; but im not... but yet... i am?... if that makes any sense?" - Vera I could relate I guess... It is time I moved forward and stop giving into my depressions when I feel neglected... I am a good person and people love me damn it!!!

Things that make you go Hmm...

If I was a father in a waiting room, and the nurse came out and said, "Congratulations, it's a girl," I think a good gag would be to get real mad and yell, "A girl? You must have mixed me up with that dork!" and point to another father.

YaY!

Walmart has Caramel Corn!!! I just returned home from there... I had an craving for pepperoni... 2 Stars are out.... I wonder for who, cuz they're not for me.

With the crazy sporadic people and hectic lives they're entangled in, time is limited. School, work, errands and fun stuff... its all worked in there somewhere... Fun? its fragmented between everything... little here, little there... and well, whenever you really do have time to have some fun... not too many people are available to kick it with you... You find time for me, and I'll find time for you... that's how it really is now... well, either that or, I'll find time for you and I'll get myself a danish while I look at this again... I bought a new case for my computer today... it was kinda in impulse buy but was planned a while ago... so, well i dont know what that makes it... i bought a case fan as well, you know, to help cool the system down... anyway, i transfered everything from my old case to the new, and well found out that the fan has 3 lights in on it... its kinda funky... now i have little colored spots on one wall... it kidna makes for a cool effect though... Along with my case, I had to buy a heatsink and cooling fan for my processor (the real reason i went shopping- my fan died on the other heatsink and my computer was down for 2 days..) and well, I guess it was a good investment ($19.99). I was able to overclock quite a bit more than I previously could. And well, along with the death of my cpu fan, my main hard drive with windows on it was also formatted by a virus. I reinstalled Windows Xp and Service pack 1 and everythings back up and running... except the soundcard, I believe i burnt it out (couldn't handle the overclocked power)... anyway, I'll probably buy a cheap one next week ($19.99). Lamers.... LAMERS!!! Back in 6th grade, our class went on a trip to Springfield, IL. At the time, a couple of buds and I were able to room and ride the whole trip... I recently ran over pictures that I took over the trip, and well, I found, along with the many interesting pictures, a picture of our bus. On it said LAMERS, the bus company... Work is still work, nothing too exciting, people are still people, they're still annoying... what changes in a period of forever? I was let off work early today, most likely due to me being a minute late. I wanted to stay longer, but didn't really care much to grovel and beg (like it'd get me anywhere anyway... well maybe closer to the floor). Besides being really hot and sweaty, handheld is pretty nice, and its a lot nicer when you're actually recognized for your efforts... I was recently told that everyday that I'm on handheld, our store or paywindow, receives 1 or 2 compliments. Thats kinda helping me keep a somewhat positive or neutral outlook on INO. Scott was over today for a brief moment, and mentioned that he was going out to a park to play some cards. At the time I was putting the puzzle pieces of my computer back together. Scott said something about UNO, and something nostalgic came to my mind... I haven't played cards for the longest time and I'd think it'd be fun if I (we) got a group together to play some card games... UNO, Phase 10, Spoons, Hearts, Poker, Junk like that.... I can't remember the last time I played Uno... Phase 10 was back with Ashley, Todd, Karalee, Aaron, Jamie, Carolyn, Lindsay and I believe one more, but of course, I'm always mistaken.. Spoons was with Jolynn and Missy, Hearts was back in Chicago in a basement with my brother's friends, Poker was with Phil and his drunk friends who were wanting to strip... Well, the concert is coming up... I dont know if I'm really going to go or not... I can't really afford it, but of course I could probably fit it in and still be alright and ok.. I still might be able to go though, hopefully with a cheaper price tag... Scott and a bunch of church friends are all going to the concert as well as Lawrence. Scott's friend is going out of town during the day and well, Scott's going to check to see if she is still going to use the ticket (or like save it or somethin... who knows).. One of my plans was spoiled by my lack of saying no... I spent quite a bit of money just on food and going out and stuff... then well i spent 70 more bucks today on my computer crap... On thursday, I was planning to run down to my insurance company and see what the heck I bloody need. I asked my dad for his liscence on that day and he said that he doesn't understand why, so he'd going to call them to figure it out... So I say... whatever, alright, go ahead... With this next check, I should be clear for most of the crap I need to get done, well except the insurance thing... hopefully that will be taken care of soon, I don't want the Squires to pay another month for it, but it seems that I slacked off too much for that not to happen.. Structure Card needs to be paid off.. Cell Phone needs to be paid off.. but for both of those, I have another 2 weeks... As usual, April asks how's Karalee doing? I swear its a routine now... "She's doing well I think, Call her, see whats up".... I think thats kinda.... yea, finish? I need not. I tortured myself for a total of 39 minutes talking to Bill... I had nothing else better to really do, so well, I called him up... I wasn't planning on talking for that long, but what is planned that doesn't go wrong? It was weird, cuz he was talkin and talkin and talkin, then asked if I talked to Ashley lately. I replied no and said I haven't tried for a while now.. Later on that night, approximently 30 minutes later.. I recieve a voicemail from Ashley just sayin whats up and askin how I'm doin... I was kinda sad, my phone didn't ring any and I got the voicemail 10 minutes after she called... So anyway, I called her back and left a message on her voicemail.... She's cool..... I'm wondering when I can get rid of these cats now.. They were cute for a long time and everything, but now its like, ahhh.... this one doesn't like me and just runs around the house... They're not doing anything bad, they're just there... Not really interacting with me (except the lightest one which I've yet to name)... Lyra is still moody, not sure if she's scared of me or if she likes me. Wow, this post is going to be another long one... RECORD BREAKING!! MYKII GOES FOR THE GOAL!!! that and a cup of java.... heh I wish. More so, I'd like a Toffee Nut Creme.... oh blah.. For some reason, I'm really sore all over... My abs, arms legs, butt.... all sore... and I couldn't tell you why either.. Oh yea, not to exclude my neck either, but wow, they all hurt... I don't have the money to go and get a total physical yet, but it'll be done sometime. Oh yea, along with cleaning my room/house still and well, getting a desk for my room... and also some blinds so people can't watch me grease myself up before I do some sweat breaking typing on my computer... ¤[Thought]¤ If you say that you're going to do something, do it wheither it be Writing letters, paying people, calling people back, writing e-mails, picking someone up..... just saying you will doesn't make you any better, or respectable of a person. And I know I have my things to work on, I hope others work on theirs too... Andy, Ian......

Almost White: Surreal Reality

Changing places... thats all, don't ask why... you'll know what it is when its done....

Wow... so i woke up late for the meeting this morning... no biggie... got there in 10 minutes... not bad, not too good, it was only 10 pushups anyway..... well, the word is out... larry's outta here... i guess john is comin in... its gonna be a little crazy i think, but not too crazy... well just a little bit of cra and a whole lot of zycrap.... oh yea... dang, after the meeting, ashley alford and maria and i went to the 99 cent store... maria bought 3 boxes of condoms and well.. the counter guy was all sorts of have a good day... so i said, you mean, have a good night.... or nights.... he just looked at me and ashley and said you better keep an eye on her [maria]... i just laughed.. anyway, we took those condoms and put them on steve's truck.. maria blew a couple up and put them on his antenna.. on his window, she wrote, drive safely... muhahaha... and all the while, ashley and i were putting more condoms on the wheels and other places like the gas thingy and what not... it was dang funny... not to mention a little fun... and heh, now i'm back home... i really don't want to close tonight.... still.... dang it.... mother..... peanut.... oh well, not having a life is alright i guess... whatever though.... and dang it, theres a concert on thurdsay with hoobastank and all american rejects... I WANNA GO!!! oh yea, and the ataris at another date, although it might have passed already.. but dang it!! I WANNA GO!!.. except for the stupid fact that i close on thursday... i might be able to have johnny i close for me, but i still need to get another body for the nightshift seeing that john also works the night shift... karalee you should come if you can!! well, i should come if i can.... oh little cheeseball.... i've been bleeding uncontrollably lately... well from my nose... and well, for some time, my scabs haven't been healing properly... both of which are pretty bad, i really need to get an all out physical to see whats going on... been a little dizzy and moody lately... its like i snap out of things really easily now.... well, more now as to before... it seems as if i just don't have any motavation to do anything/whatever i'm doing/or anything i'm going to do.. or say.... dang it..ugh, i haven't cleaned my room or house compeletely either... and well, i didn't even set up my whole stereo system yet... and dang i'm all proud of my system... I still need to go to luv it sometime soon i guess... gotta say hi to greg and grab me some grub.... good grub.... great good grub, grab great good grub from greg, going to grab great good grub from goofy greg..... dork? i am not.... i'm an UBERDORK!!!!! All laugh in my name!! anyway.. i think i'm gonna take a nap... or either go out and buy some cat food/ fuses for the car, or like sleep or pick my butt with a highlighter.... not just any highlighter... a pink one.... and well, i guess i'll finish up tonight!! catch me later... ¤[Thought]¤ At least someone's happy i want some applesauce... well more applesauce.... or something with apples.... apple chips, apple juice, applesauce, slices, pie, apple cininimon cherrios.. or even an apple.... or cheese... cheese is good....

Its hard trying to drink out of a straw with holes in it...... well, work was long... i didn't really have a day or night to do anything... i worked form 12:00 to 3... then 5 to 11... so i got a total of 9 hours... i guess thats good for me... i dont know what to expect on this next paycheck.. hopefully i can save it... i dont think theres much for me to pay now... except cellphone and gas... i need to get my dad's liscense in order for me to get insurance.... i dont know how thats gonna work... i might have to steal it... or not.. who knows.. but i gotta get my insurance going... life has been slightly boring except for last night i guess.... i hate being in situations that just plain suck.... its just hard... gosh.... dumb..... stressful..... well, larry's leaving, its mostly known, but i guess there still aren't people who know... everyone at 150 knows.... oh yea, i worked there from 5-11... it was pretty wierd... anyway... tomorrow's friday, payday.... ugh, money sucks.... friends suck sometimes too.... life sucks sometimes, leeches suck, vacuums suck..... i dont know what i'm going to do tomorrow.... i work the night shift.... not sure when i'm getting off, but i'm pretty sure that i'll be there late... larry's shift and he's got me on handheld... so i'll be outside till like 9ish or 10ish... then who knows after taht.. last time he kept me to close.... and dang it, i dont want to close on saturday, i just want to work my day shift and crap... but i guess i gotta do somethin... either night shift or close... for either of the thomas'.. argh.. this'll be fun... i dont know if they'll find anyone else to work, but dang, i sure don't want to.... i just want a night off so i can relax and not have to worry about anything the next day.... I guess tomorrow though, i can call karalee in the daytime to do something, but well, whats there to do.... as of the moment, i don't really feel like talking... and probably tomorrow, i'll be all sorts of goin with the flow... argh, i gotta get gas... dang it, i hope i have enough gas to get me to 165 so i can get my paycheck, and then get to the bank so i can get more gas.... and i guess tomorrow night, karalee's gettin a big group to go out to the drive in or somethin, movie-ish.... i don't know if i want to go... not even sure if i can go.... we'll see though... i don't really feel like hanging out... well at least today i didn't feel like it too much.... heh, maybe cuz it was because i got off at 11... but whatever... ¤[Thought]¤ Sometimes i speak, but sometimes i don't think its heard... not like everyone's gotta listen to me but sometimes i think its taken as blah blah whatever thats cool type thing.... and i know it.... lol, maybe i should speak when spoken to... hahaha

Personality test.... Heh..

"Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out." Load of bull... but whatever

Nu Muzik tu Lystin 2

Cd's that I want to get and latest music that i've been into... Saves the Day Watashi Wa (They sound asian don't they?) Further Seems Forever Story of the Year I'm way into the music.... along with Yellowcard, The Ataris, All American Rejects... dang, i theres so many.... but wow, lovin it, and i'll bet you'll love it too... if you want me to burn you a mix cd, then shout out on the right side... Its kinda late out right now, but not too late, i'm kickin back with a 79 cent a&w root beer 2 liter, with a black kitten sleeping in my lap, listening to Watashi Wa and well, typing to all of you and me... and i smell the smell of weed and cigerettes, i dont know where its coming from, but its gettin to my head... anyway... i got to hang out with karalee and chelsa for a little bit, well it wasn't really much of a hang out, it was more of a tag a long deal.... but it was fine... i then went to scotts to hook up his "MonsterBig" as we call it, 200 gig hard drive.... stinkin, huge!!! afterwards, i went to jeremy's house cuz i said i would and played a little pool... later, i met brittany and lawrence at cold stone... and since then, i've been playing with the cats... The darkest white one doesn't really like me, the other 2 like me... but the black one loves me.... lyra is all sorts of not liking anything and the kittens still suck on her boobs... and well that leads me here... right now.... Ugh, work wasn't all that great, but it was good, to a point.... larry was being a dick and what not... not unusual, but would be nice without him like dat... well jimmy needed the day off so he asked jb if i could work over for him, he said yea, but i guess no one told the day managers... but whatever, i came in and got dressed, found out that jimmy was on board, larry finds out that i'm in for jimmy, gets pissed off and well, that was it really.... i was workin nicks board and i thought i was doing well, yea, i was doing well, i didn't jack up half as many times as on lawrences board (i'm distracted by lawrence's humming and singing) and well nick told me that he was going to throw 2 rows... well i got everything ready, and nick pulled both rows and larry just happened to see me with the 2 rows pulled and decided to make a comment about why he's pissed.... somethin about not having a strong enough board person or some deal, i was like f' off f'er.... freakin don't get mad at me punk.... nick said to not worry about it, he was being cool the whole day again, i think he's relaxing now.... lot more fun havin him like this than before... argh... larry pisses me off.... but whatever... bobbo even told me that it wasn't my fault, i wasn't the one who wanted to switch... he asked me why i'm puttin up with his crap... and well, hell i just don't care anymore..... he'll be gone in a bit..... so f' him..... dang it, i woke the kitten up... now shes sleeping on the clothes next to me.... how cute... the others are kickin it by the post of my futon... WHAT SHOULD I NAME THE LIGHTEST AND THE BLACK KITTENS???? Gimmie some ideas dang it!! i gotta call them something soon!! type over there ~~> Oooo, next weeks schedule is out... i work S- 11:00 S- Off M- 11:30 T- 11:30 W- 11:30 T-5:30 Close F- 11:30 ¤[Thought]¤ Stars aren't out tonight, but there may be hope for tomorrow.... My heater works!! I got my blanket in the car, a spare sweatshirt and well, i'm set for the winter and some cuddling if the chances arise... :) Argh, i want to get those cds so bad.... and dang, i need my paycheck for next week.. Ruff... i need to save money though... i might barely make it this week, i got almost no money.... pretty crappy.... anyway, i g agj crap... i didn't pay tithing this week...... suck... ugh... thats it, gotta go put this kitten to sleep, i wonder if she'll sleep with me on the bed...

Yahoo!

"Cheese is good" - A pin i bought

Well.... heh, thats the only word that i can think of using to start this off... i went to the mall with brittany to go shoppin... it was pretty cool, got some stuff... i shouldn't have... but i got some sweaters and some buttons and stuff.... gotta get ready for winter don't ya know..... i talked to ashley today... she's so rad, i miss her... went to olive garden with lawrence and justin and lindsay and brittany and ortega and and and.... that was mostly it.... i'm running out of gas... i just remembered that... and well, i must save money now.... i'm doing well... not the best, not the worst.... hanging in there without the luxuries that i'd like, but i'm not complaining too much.... i need to get stuff ready for todd... i'm a slacker.... i guess karalee and i need to chat... i know but i dont know about what, at least i think, but whatever... maybe i'll go and see her tonight... ugh, i'm kinda tired now, life has been alright, could be more fun, kinda sad but i'll make myself happy some way or another... ugh, i dont know what else... at least i know, but i don't feel like typing it.... happens a lot huh... i'm outtie... ¤[Thought]¤ i found karalee's and ashley's name tags... yay... i also found todds and kimballs... double yay... now wheres mine?

Keepin things short...

Fixed car up with 200 bucks... runs smooth, need 200 more dollars for new transaxle.... went to work, got frustrated, went on half, coolled off, closed, saw karalee!! and talked with nicky pooooooo.... and make nick's nipple hard...

«·´`·.(.·´( .·* Nothin too exciting! *·. )`·.).·´`·»

From Psychology by David G. Myers: "The urges you feel when sober are the ones you will more likely act upon if intoxicated" Yea, makes sense i guess.. whatever.. Well, i've been cut some hours this week... only like 28 i think for the week... haven't worked tomorrow but i'm hopin for at least 5 or so.... but whatever, i couldn't wait for this mornin to fix my car, and i knew i couldn't wake up this mornin, so well, i fixed the car last night... well, now i got some transportation and the car is better off... just need to fix some cv boots and maybe joints and do some brake jobs... and an oil change.. still haven't done that... not much happened last night, or even today so far... yesterday i was workin on the car with wilson, karalee helped me get a much needed tool, and we got one side workin fine.. then i went home and dropped wilson off... on the way to work, my drivers side wheel almost fell off... 3 lug nuts were frozen and the wheel itself is damaged and useless... got to work, worked, got off work then took lawrences car to get 4 wheel studs and a spindle nut so i could replace them that night... got home did that drove around, went to the thomas house, hung out a little, raced a little... sprinting that is.... it was mikey, phil, russell and i that raced... brittany was the finish line deal thing, it wasn't that far, but it was a sprint anyway... went inside, had some cookies then took off and went home to play diablo 2 and waited for lawrence to come over so i could fix his computer... he left, i played a little bit more diablo 2, went to sleep, woke up late and took a shower and got to work, dressed and made it to the stand on time... worked handheld, was freakin let off early... pretty gay shiznit... i was like... hey hey, where's my hour funk masta flex.. yea, i'm ghetto... yea right, HA... me ghetto? sure i've gotten lazy enough not to pronouce all my constantents and stuff and i mumble a lot more now, but i ain't no ghetto...foo yup yup yup, was gonna play some v-ball, but we'll see what happens.. i guess i'm gonna go shopping with britt too or somethin again... but we'll see what happens, i think i'm supposed to do somethin else, but we'll see what happens.... muhahaha.... ¤[Thought]¤

I'm back...

i really hate going to places un invited, and just showing up and stuff... makes me feel real, uh, well, uninvited... it makes things awkward and sporadic... you don't know if people really want you there or not.. you don't know if they purposely didn't invite you... you know, if they did, then they'd call or something....stuff like that... and also, i'm not dumb, i pick up crap pretty easily, well i think i do.. mostly when things are actually being spoken with out detail... or if its about a certain subject, maybe not me but someone else that i might have beef with or whatever... its pretty dang simple and really easy to notice.... a Yea, well, confronting jeremy didn't exactly work... the whole trip out there was mostly a freakin waste... well it was something to do i guess... i guess i didn't really have anything else i preferred to do... but anyway, we got to 88... karalee and jeremy weren't there.... so britt wanted to go inside, so we did, and we found out that they took off to the grocery store... so we're like ok... cool, we found out that they're comin back and stuff... well, i guess britt called once and karalee idnd't pick up, then the second time she picked up and britt found out that she's at albertsons... so for some reason, we drove down there just to drive back...oh yea, well i guess karalee didn't answer her phone cuz jeremy and her were talkin to the other jeremy from havasu or wherever... heh, haven't heard about that guy too much, mentioned once or twice, seen him around the area, but whatever, not my business and well, we got back to 88 and karalee and jeremy met up with the rest of the 88 crew that was goin, and they took off to go see a movie, karalee invited me then, but i just didn't feel like it... and britt and i headed back home, but britt wanted to check out if joann's was open, so we did... and they weren't.. so we started to head out and well, we went to a gas station, britt got some chapstick and some gum, and also bought me some chapstick... that was nice... all the while, listening to muzik.. oh whatever, im going to go find something relaxing to do... maybe just sit around do nothing, or maybe do something stupid... or hell, i'll steal my dad's car and, crap he put an alarm on his car... ha ha.. well i was going to look at the stars... i could really use some time out there right now... maybe i'll do it tomorrow.... oh yes... tomorrow..... ¤[Thought]¤ Krazy keeps me sane, but doesn't keep me stress free.... maybe i need some ARRID- stress stinks.. arrid works...

Cheese and crackers...

Actually nothin about cheese, or crackers... well maybe vanilla wafers... eh, not really... Yay, another song i can play... quite simple.... (dayem good song) I'll Be by Edwin McCain Album : Misguided Roses The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful Stop me and steal my breath And emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky Never revealing their depth Tell me that we belong together Dress it up with the trappings of love I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above Chorus:I'll Be your cryin' shoulder I'll Be loves suicide I'll Be better when I'm older I'll Be the greatest fan of your life And rain falls angry on the tin roof As we lie awake in my bed You're My Survival, You're My Living Proof My love is alive and not dead Tell me that we belong together Dress it up with the trappings of love I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above Chorus And I've dropped out, I've burned up, I fought my way back from the dead Tuned in, turned on, remembered the things that you said Chorus Chorus The greatest fan of your life.

---

As of the moment, i'm just here... i think i should clean my room, i haven't really "settled" myself... i didn't really hook anything up either.... i got a gelatinous mixture of garbage, food and clothes all together on my floor... and occasional wires from my computer... let me take a moment to name a few items... jack in the box shake cups (3)... underwear, illinois shirt, socks, more socks, mountain dew can, ketchup packets, sugar in the raw packets, napkins, some paper with some random thoughts on it, a cup, a corona lighter, diablo 2 cds, blank cds, mest (2) cds, matchbox 20 cds, md player, socks, plastic bottles, smelly socks, mcdonalds bag.. although i dont remember going there to get food, guitar picks, lots of pictures, a couple plastic bags, straw wrappers, some notebooks, a chair, a honda emblem, a toyota emblem, an easter basket, my cell phone charger, a pillow, towel, socks, and thats just about it... Work was alright, josh was being cool again... nothin else really too exciting... work is work, besides that, its stress, but work none the less... also money.... getting off work was a relief... i didn't feel like being there too much, but of course, i gotta somewhat be all sorts of... Hi i'm Mikey, did you read my name tag? it reads hyper... let me kiss your feet... Haha, mikey and his dad just keep askin me why i deal with americanese cars.... i say, i duno, whatever... they want me to get a truck, they know how to deal with trucks, not "americanese" cars.... well i say, hey, if you can find one like mikey's for the price that he had... dang, i'll do it haha, right now i'm talkin to brittany's dad... well i think its brittany's dad, he she keeps talkin about frog muffs and muff diving... yea.. uh... right.... moving on, well he's all sorts of funny and what not, i gotta see that guy sometime... i want my chapstick..... ugh, well, somehow i'm still stuck in this britt/jeremy deal thing... goodness.. and i thought I was bad... geez, at least i don't grab other people into locker rooms... well, siblings and friends.... well i dont know what i do, i'll look into that... anyway, i guess jeremy's at karalee's, typical i hear.... i guess he lives there... but anyway, britt just told me that she messaged karalee and jeremy replied saying (this is jeremy if you even care).... golly... i wish i had the balls to use lines like that at times... "if you even care" HA. ah ha... just got off the phone with britt's dad... he's a fun guy also... he was just wonderin about the car and what not... then we were talkin about his bike and such... craziness... i don't think that i could own a bike... well i've always thought about it, but it wouldn't be practical.. oh geez, more jeremy and brittany stuff... mind you, this is like 20 mins later... somethin about jeremy givin britt a heads up... whatever that means... and in whatever context.... whatever.... what... ev...er... just let it go for the love of all thats holy... and another update.... Dizzygurl707: i feel like i'm being replaced Mykii1urHeart: by what? Mykii1urHeart: you too huh... lol Dizzygurl707: it kinda makes me mad Dizzygurl707: by jeremy Mykii1urHeart: yea, 2 of us Mykii1urHeart: but whatever man.. Dizzygurl707: karalee was mine before they ever hung out now they r at 88 and i'm not Mykii1urHeart: lol Mykii1urHeart: jeremy's at 88? Dizzygurl707: he just makes me mad Dizzygurl707: he is wit karalee Mykii1urHeart: but he doens't work there right? Dizzygurl707: *with* Dizzygurl707: no they r hangin out Dizzygurl707: =-O Dizzygurl707: >:o Mykii1urHeart: lol, geez brittany..... i knew karalee b4 all yall Dizzygurl707: so u have 1st dibs then Dizzygurl707: thats fine u r not a hog Mykii1urHeart: heh... things change, just kinda gotta accept it Dizzygurl707: no i don't Mykii1urHeart: or then again, do something about it Dizzygurl707: i don't like change Dizzygurl707: thats what i was trying to do but then jeremy interupted and she said she would have to call me back Mykii1urHeart: heh what can you do though? Dizzygurl707: go to 88 Dizzygurl707: do u want 2 Dizzygurl707: i'll come get u Mykii1urHeart: heh, not exactly haha, geez... whatever, lol thats kinda funny.... karalee as an item... haha.. i just noticed that this post will be really long... oh well screw it... wow, from what i hear, karalee and jeremy are at 88.. and well, i guess brittany and i are goin over there.... woop de doo.... i guess she's gonna get whatever out in the open... we'll see about that.... and well, i hate self-inviting myself to places, and i guess this is kinda forcing myself into a place... great..... we'll see how this'll go...

(Crap)²+-2(My luck)+(Little fun)= Not positive.. or something...

Well the hey hey and the shiznit don't seem to be working for me as of the moment.. I don't know.. my life has been, scrambled.. but not really, i think i just make it like that... well, ashley left yesterday... i miss her already, and i know i'm not alone on that feeling... yesterday was general conference. i kinda watched it with the squires family.. i was trying to stay awake, but it wasn't really working.. it was one of those.. Must.....stay....awake....... or can't.. keep eyes.... open..... or like... ...can't.... scratch.... my back.... type things.... its always fun being going over there... lori fed me with some good grub, karalee brittany and elyssa kept me occupied... freakin with tryin to give me wedgies and tickling me... haha good times.... thats ok though... i'll get them all back.... muhahahah when they least expect it...... MUHAHAHA.... uh yea, anyway, before i give out my secret plan... it was fun... kimball called while i was over there.. actually i think brittany called also... not sure if that was the same day or not... my mind's kinda goin... ya know, with old age and stuff... whew, its hard being 18... or something around that.... afterwards, i went with karalee back to her place to chill out and watch Holes... we ended up goin out and gettin some candy and junk (cravings.... whoa yea... almond joys are good... so are tootsie rolls) with Chelsa and Brandon... they're so fun... well we watched holes... pretty good movie i thought... and just about fell asleep there... i was leaving and while turning onto tropicana, one of the other studs on my gimp wheel broke off... i swear i'm gonna send that wheel to burnination at the guy with the bigg nife's house... yea well, i ended up calling karalee and spending the night over there.. she took me to work this morning also... and well, work wasn't all that bad, it was exausting, i slept pretty well i guess... well, it was different, my breathing patterns were all sorts of mixed up, my nose was congested but then it wasn't at the same time... whatever, i dont' know.. my body is doing whack things to me... well work was long as kinda mentioned before... and larry always over snows me with fries... well not in that sense... he just kinda drops 10354058 billion million quentillion freakin fries in a matter of 45 seconds.... and well, i'm left with like 2 orders and 1023547105 hundered fries... yea well that was great... and now well, i jsut got home.. lisa amore gave me a ride... she's a blast also... so fun... and well, i'm just chilling with my back killin....me... right now.... as we speak...... OWA... and well, not i'm kinda bored, cuz theres nothing to do right now.... and well, theres no one to do anything with at the moment.... but i'll bet i'll find someone to do something with.... anyway... i'll be back.... i got some thoughts flowing through my head and what not....

Craziamazifreakiness!!!

The first thing on my mind right now is that i got home safely... its 3:26 and i could've been dead, or injured, or minorly bruised.... anyway, i dropped off brittany and i checked the lug nuts on my wheels, some were loose and some were fine.. so i tightened them.... the whole day i mentioned that the wheels on my car would fall off and tonight i got close enough... i was driving on the 95 back home and the car would shake whenever i didn't use the gas... or if it was in low rpms... stinkin i freaked out and got off the nearest exit, lake mead, and checked my wheels again (the first thing that is noticable)... well my driver's side wheel was about to fall off... 2 adjacent lug nuts were half way unscrewed... the other two were just loose.... that got my heart pumpin pretty bad... i guess i should take care of all the things on the car to insure my safety.... I'M STILL ALIVE BABY!!! The night was rad... missed out on a good movie, but chilled with people i normally don't hang out with... ashley and heather... they're so funny... Ashley and Mandy are in town, they're leaving tomorrow :(... it was awesome seeing them... i wish ashley would move back... karalee, ashley, mandy, britt, bill, scott and i went bowling tonight, just so we could chill a little bit more b4 ash leaves... things have been manageable still... getting a little tight, but i believe i can handle it... ¤[Thought]¤ My sisters are the best!! And caramel shakes are gooood

Alright, so my internet has been down for a little bit... what was that, about a day? yea i think.... last night's work wasn't too bad.... i started at 4:45 and closed so i got a bit of hours.... kinda whack, but i've been put on drive a whole bunch... closing wasn't too bad... larry's sick i think... he's been kinda coughin every now and then and hasn't been talkin much... lawrence mostly ran the shift... nothing too spectacular went on last night... definitely nothing worth mentioning or getting into... just bullshiz.... well today i gotta run a bunch of errands... but the problem is.... the car's front right wheel is jacked up... not the wheel itself, but the bolt that holds it on.... i only have 3 of them instead of 4... so one of the bolts broke off... not safe for sure.... the car itself is running really well though... i'm just afraid that i gotta go to the junkyard and pick up a whole new thingy... i found car insurance... but it'll be a week or so to save enough money for the small down payment... its 208 then 108 a month which is really nice... ugh... i gotta pay my cell bill today, get a haircut, maybe get an oil change... buy some food and i think i'll be good.... heh, i guess i'm getting direct deposit from in-n-out... it'll be nice for the time being.... ugh... i'm sick of typing right now, i'm gonna check out the lancer outside and the protege.... then go do my errands... and hopefully not die....

Well, a bland night indeed.... got off work, went to get a bucks worth of gas... then met up with lawrence at 165... he got out of school at that time.... waited for bill... bill got there... went to wendys... sat there... bill went home... drove out to see the stars... loved it.... went to somewhat breakfast with 88... um yay go them....

Better than expected....

Well, work was a lot better today... jb was there, steve was there, and well, they were kickin back pretty well i think.... well i was on drive orders so, i didn't really get any crap from them... i kept my corner goin so they were happy... i was quite surprised today.. i didn't do no potatoes!! or mats!! i was doin fries and workin board... and it was slow enough to kick back and talk.. and well busy enough that we woulnd't get in trouble for not doing anything.... it was great fun today... some more pranks.... ashley and was puttin ketchup on the handle of the spatula for the cooks.. it was funny... the thing is... jb and april started it.. then it just grew.. on and on and on... it was great, me n ashley workin together, and jb and steve workin together to pull off pranks and jazz.... definately one of those kick back woot woot 6 hours went by like a choo choo type days..... ¤[Thought]¤ I hope tomorrow will be like that... but thurs and fri will suck..... larry's shift... well, larry and nick's shift... it'll be high strung and uptight....

What kind of Cat are you?

If I were a cat, I would be a… Puma! The Puma (Felis concolor) is an unmarked, tawny cat which possesses, along with great elegance and agility, many commonly used names. The most widespread of its labels are Cougar, Panther, Mountain Lion, and Catamount. They live over a broad range in all of the Americas. Being the Puma (or whatever you want to call it!), you are a very strong individual and have a great capability of succeeding at whatever you wish to accomplish. You are cunning when in sticky situations and adept at puzzles and riddles. - TAZL.com - Take the Quiz -

Forever? Try like 2 minutes...

So i didn't have to really wait afterall... i was playing diablo and was pretty into it... i've heard noises at my window similar to tapping but when i'd look over, nothing would be there.... and i did it quite often, i kinda always expected phil to be there at my window for something.... well after i got myself into diablo... which was like 2 mins into the game, i hear this tapping... but i was like, whatever, its nothing... prolly just whatever it was before.. but well, i heard it again and there was a figure that didn't look like phil at all, so i kinda freaked and jumped... and lo and behold... it was karalee!!! It was definately fun.... for me at least... i miss hangin around her... but i'm satisfied for a while i guess... our schedules are different, so whats there to do.... well i'm butt tired... i bet karalee is tired... i know phil is tired... i'm not sure about maria..... wow, things were discussed, and wow... viewing things at a different perspective is a whole new world.... especially when you know crap, and what not.. whoa... weird... i smell like karalee... or her car... somethin like that, but i don't smell like me.... crazy I like caramel shakes from jack in the box.. ¤[Thought]¤ What if people were able to make whatever food item they want appear.... well i'd think that they'd all eat it and get fat... but then you have those balemic people who'd probably dream of everything they wanted... eat it, then throw it all up so they can do it again.... and again..... so the'd be skinny..... yea, i'd like to be skinny, but i'm not sure about all the throwing up and the hey hey...whatnot junk... thats a little whacked out for my taste....

And another one bites the dust (ah)

Hi.. i'm mikey... leave me alone... theres not too much to do... well i went out got some batteries, then straight back home... i'm kinda waiting for karalee's phone call... but i should know better... currently, i'm killin some black widow spiders... and eating crunch berries... i'll prolly switch to cini. life or cini. toast crunch later.... I don't really feel all that great right now.... i'm not tired, or sleepy, or sick, but i still just feel kinda blah... i think i'm gonna play some diablo.... yea, that'll keep me occupied as i wait... forever....

Another new day

Ahh yes... i just got back from talkin with the squires... they're so awesome, i love them... it was nice being able to chat with them both and see whats up and how things are goin... i gotta visit them more often... Haha, brittany was up and everything, i guess i woke her up.. but o well, she's funny... she made one of the rats jump... and well elyssa was there, but she was kinda out of it, lyin around being "sick".... Lori gives good advice... and Brad is just funny in the oddest ways.. kinda like brandon but different Well i got to talk over some issues and stuff with them... well not issues, but things that we could talk about... they're lettin me have the honda, which i'm grateful for, so that i can get my booty to work and church and whereever... i don't think that i'll be going too far... i need to save gas money and what not... but every now and then i'll prolly drive everywhere to run errands and say hi... yay, now i can hang out with people too :)... well i have about 20 mins b4 church starts... so i gotta run! ¤[Thought]¤ I don't have to die, somebody already did for me.....

Thanks to the Love i have for life

Wouldn't life just be easier if you just died or you killed yourself.... that's been crossing my mind lately... i just don't want to deal with anything anymore... i don't want to hear anything anymore... i don't want to talk anymore... i don't want to see anymore... everything i hear, say and see hurts... but whatever, i guess i'm lucky i love living... So work was just long and tiring.... only had 1 hour of sleep and had a store meeting... i prolly shouldn't have gone to breakfast last night, i chose to.... dang, well i got my 8 somethin hours... So i missed out on everythin that went on today... the drinkin, the hangin out, the fun, the not drinkin and havin fun while hangin out, the drama, the not dealing with drunk people and babysitting.... sad? kinda but not really... oh well, at least i'm getting hours... i really do sit and think about killing myself... then i think about how smart i am about thinking about it.... then i think about how smart i am to think about thinkin to kill myself... and eventually i decide that i need therapy or something for thinking about it... but then i just usually need a good hangin out.... and well i get it most of the time... the other times, i just say, i'd be dumb to do it... Well, tomorrow i have church... funny that i have it right after i think about doing something thats well against what i believe in and what my beliefs are... i'm actually going to go to church... well gotta take care of some stuff before it, but i'll be at church... I didn't talk to anyone to day really... just people at work and work talk... a lot of it involved karalee... her name came up a lot, and i wasn't surprised... but i didn't really listen too much to really know what was said... and even if i did know... it wouldn't really matter, i dont know half of whatever was/is going on if anything.... i talked to scott a little, and talked a little to the squires mom.. i talked to lawrence cuz he picked me up from work... yea whatever tho.... oh yea, talked to brittany about stuff, jeremy mostly... some other guy, what went on today.... stuff like that.... 4:45 to 12:00 kinda ruins the night life.... and well, no one called me either, so that made me feel good... real good.... i think its funny that i can sit here and really think about what i was thinking about 2 mins ago and laugh about it.. or say, hey, what a loser, or who cares... lots of it is just really stupid and unreasonable... things are exaggerated and jurrassically blown out of a norm perspective... what i just said might even be blown up.... whatever... screw this i'm tired ¤[Thought]¤ Is there anybody out there.... can anybody see, or are they deaf and dumb like me....

Brain Ded and hung over...

Freakin retards... stupid people... retarded stupid freaking people... What is good about freakin beer? and why the heck can't people be responsible with it? i mean holy crap.. the more i hear the more stupid i think people are... i mean geez, take a look... russell got sent home from the store meeting cuz he was freakin hung over... brittany wasn't too happy cuz she had to be the mom for last night and couldn't have any fun cuz she was too busy watchin over retarded russell... gawd, and then you got dumbace phil with a ford who smokes cigs regularly and is gettin himself some... and then you got carla who freakin downs beers and what not like no other, who's always gettin f'd up/knocked up and plastered... and of course you got new hire maria who's a small little pint sized girl who downs beers like carla, and she's always freakin blazed up the wazoo... i swear they don't remember what they do, or say, and well they regret mostof the things they've done while being drunk after they become sober... and well, the next day, they do it again.... i heard carla talkin about phil.. the last time they got drunk together, which was a while ago said phil (freakin detailed crap i mentioned b4) , they knocked each other up and carla was drunk... well i guess phil made out with maria... the same girl who made out with ulises (or however you spell the name) and well i guess russell kissed carla, and carla showed her boobs to people she didnt know and was makin out with them and crap.... Geez, they complain about crap and then they get themselves jacked up again and into more crap.... what the heck... ugh... its just dumb... i don't got a problem with drinkin in moderation, but when it starts to affect the people around us and stuff... it gets really aggravating and stupid... Russell dang it, what the heck is wrong with you... ARGH... you knew we had a store meeting, you wanted to drive home from what i hear, and well i guess if brittany wasn't there you probably would.. and well if you did, with the luck that you have... you'd prolly trash that car also.... man, and now they're gonna do it again tonight with Krista's birthday, they're all gonna get flushed and hammered at sj's... and well, its just gonna be dumb and stupid if its big enough, it'll be broken up... man screw beer..... screw cigs.... screw drugs... what the heck man...... argh, then i got phil always tryin to get me to drink, and now that he's into smokein (which he says he smokes a half a cig a week... which is TOTAL bs..) he tries to get me to smoke also.... and he knows the almighty answer dang it.... if i could use F bomb to get it into his head, i would... but not really... there's not a situation where could use the F bomb and feel right about it..... but ARGH... DRINKIN LIKE MAD MEN AINT COOL.... dang it ¤[Thought]¤ And here we go again... with the drinky drinky and the kissy kissy and the knockin knockin knockin on heaven's door....

Phase shift in reality...

Wow, is all i can really say.... i'm really quite confused, but also not caring too much about it, tired for sure, kinda happy and well, over all shaken and stirred with some awkwardness... Things were pretty fun tonight... still different and its takin a little of gettin used to... went to the arcade with jeremy, then went to karaoke which was fun, kinda actually blah-ish... i wasn't really in too much of the mood to go, but i went anyway... i didn't really want to spend the money, but i felt kinda bad makin jeremy drive all over the place.... went to close at 88... that was... whatever, can't find a word for that... then went to breakfast where karalee got soaked by 3 cups of water and i got like some after splash.... jimmy and ashley went as well... they're funny... the weirdest, unexpected couples pair up... then you got the occasional, you two are totally alike couple... but whatever, uh... they all got some breakfast and stuff and we all talked... mostly baggin on the waiters and the lack of forks and tips... and other misc odd things.... the wood decoration lookin things, the amount of money the food cost, how small the 'giant' pancakes were... i was spacing out a lot, i guess julian was a total jerk, and well that other guy, i think ted er some other name like that was kinda challenged... i might be wrong, but whatever, i invested my 2 braincells toward them... We were done with breakfast and stuff and went outside to talk in the parking lot... i mean 'leave'.... and jeremy and karalee and i were just talkin i guess... i was more of listening and thinkin.. takin notes and stuff i guess... seein how much i'm really out of it and if i can get back into it... i can't really do it though... somethings wrong, i'm really self conscious about things i do now, also about things i say... i think everything is a mistake or is going to be a mistake or something... Weird enough... thoughts were coming to my head in jeremy's car that startled me a little bit... it started out with, heck, i dont even know, somethin about 88 then me transfering to 88 and the rumors heard about it, then reasons why i would transfer, reasons why jeremy would quit, reasons why it's hard to do both, either transfer or quit.... then talkin about managers and stuff also relating to reasons why we'd transfer or quit, then all the friends we have at work and how much we'd really keep in touch... After school ended, all my pretty close friends left, either to college or another state for college or just to live.... i guess all the friends i have now are from work... and with that... i realize how much i don't really know them and how much i'm even involved in their life.... even with karalee now, i dont know how big of a part of her life i really am.... although i'd like to think that i'm at least somewhere between everyone else and somebody, but thats probably too much now... and well, the answers will all come sometime, and well, i know its gonna hurt... jeremy and i were talkin and stuff, and its really kinda wierd, but jeremy and i have been hangin out a lot lately... gettin to know each other more and stuff... talkin about brittany and whats up with that jazz... i've never really expected him to kinda open up to me like that... it was a total surprise... and its still weird cuz he hangs out with karalee a lot now, and it seems that he thinks that i know whatever karalee knows.... and well, i don't really.... i don't really know jack.... i think that i do, and i like to make it seem like i do that is.. if i can, but nope... i dont... and heck, i know that karalee will read this, probably some other people as well and well, i dont got the balls to say anything... i just type it out so i can maybe get things straight later or get it out of my head (just so i can cram it back in later when i read this again).... heh "i dont like confrontation" and me 2.... so like, blah... i don't really think this is one but whatever..... ¤[Thought]¤ Thought(s) is more like it....My back is jacked up and it hurts..... and karalee is good at what she'll be doing I gotta be at the store meeting in about 3 hours.... well i guess chillin with karalee was worth it.... my butt is still wet.... and i gotta go pee.... and i spent too much money today... and my arms are getting tired, and i really need to take a shower (sorry to everyone that was around me, i prolly wasn't a good air freshener)... althouh i did take one b4 we went to the arcade.... i had sonic... it was tasty... karalee still plays with her hair.... i still am obnoxious.... i'm going to go pee.... i'm back... i washed my hands and the water was cold.... my hands are cold... my heart is getting cold.... or maybe i'm talking about my hands... well lets say both for less confusion of my tired brain... i'm tired... bed looks good... mykii going to bed.... Bie Bie

Dumb dumb bmub crap....

Haha, well work today was.... blah, wasn't as fun as lisa... but it was nicks shift, so i didn't really expect too much.... nothing too exciting happened tonight except i did have these 2 half drunk thirtyish ladies thru the drive.... after their order was done, i said TOOOKY TOOOKY to lawrence, and the girls heard me and reversed and said what'd you say? then they pulled up and said, what's goin on in there... then lawrence said CAW CAW... and i was like, HOnKyFoo, and stuff and these half drunk ladies were all sorts of crackin up and jazz.... it was dumb, yet funny After closing, L, Russell, Bob and I went to Dennys... we had some interesting conversations there... first about me taking a crap in the bathroom and hearing someone else talk about one of the crazy nerds out in the lobby doing something stupid... also relating them to in-n-out.... then that lead to something about nose hairs then long boogers then bloody noses... then someone a long time ago who flung their booger out the window and onto my windshield... then went to bob thinkin that we wouldn't be surprised if we get written up for some sexual harassment crap cuz of the stupid things bob and nick and russell say in the stand.... then russell getting porn from larry after moving larry, then bob talkin about porn, then me just using russell's line "f'n Mykii (but russell instead of course).. then talkin about ranch and how lawrence puts it on everything now, and russell and his ketchup, then bob eating my pancakes with syrup (suh-rup) not (seer-up) i think... now i'm confoosed... but thats it.... nothing else really worth mentioning today at work happened... nothing too spectacular.... a couple faces popped in, but thats it... an old v-ball teammate came thru.. that was very interesting... some other associates... some regulars... oh and russell broke the button on his pants... he had his finger out his zipper of his pants imitating a penis... and he walked around and made nick and bob and lawrence laugh while i actually worked (thats actually a first when closing =O) but then russell came up behind me... and i acted like i was gonna punch him in the balls and well, he broke his button.... sucka... yea thats it.... i fixed up lawrence's comp... uh, he was here not too long ago... today is my day off... well tomorrrow... today technically... and well, I HAVE DIABLO BACK!!! WOOT WOOT!! time to kick back and maybe hang out with some people!! and i got 32 hours this week.... not too bad, one day short of a really nice check (in my terms).... somethin like that, i'm not complainin too much... i'm happy with that... oh yea, almost died with lawrence driving again... several times in a matter of 8 minutes... trying to get from my house to work... freakin running stop signs, lights and what not.... the best was the light on eastern and serene... we were totally not gonna make it but he went anyway and screamed.... THIS IS FOR YOU LISA!!!!! while his tires squealed... larry was pissed off today, i'm supposed to sign a write up, but i didn't yet... so o well.. f' him... lawrence got a talk from nick... argh... whatever... "Motivate me.... i gotta get myself outta this place" for real... I'm out, its late... gotta get a little diablo in also... ¤[Thought]¤ All broken up.... confused and dazed.... knowing, but not caring.... caring, but not knowing...... missing, not seeing, contact? none... why....

Crashed Out and Gone

Wow, well its early in the mornin, 3:41-ish as of right now, and i'm feeling more crazy than ever!! not really kinda tired and settled but i wish i was dang crazy and crazy-go-nuts insane and junk... i already woke up russel with... let me see..... 67+ sms messages that i know of.... crazy eh?! Lawrence right now is crashed out on the floor.. we played some 2 player DDr on my comp. And i'm talkin to Karalee on Aim as well as phil... he keeps on talkin about his new computer... i kinda guided him as to what he wanted and what was good for his range... he's satisified i believe.... and there goes karalee... at exactly 3:47:08 AM..... aim is useful isn't it? too bad i didn't get to say bye- too busy typin on this jazz... haha, i guess i got a "regular" visitor... probably shouldn't have been so surprised... but karalee's always on... so like, Hi you! Life has been alright lately, dad's still whacked out of his mind, but whatever, i guess its bareable... rather have my relationship with my dad go down the hole than some other relationships..... well itd be better if my relationship with my dad was a little better... and i've been workin on that too... doesn't really help, but i might as well keep trying for that one opportunity that might arise.... Wow, i'm looking back at my archives... there was a lot of stuff going on... i can't believe that my car was sold in january... freakin now its like... what... September? Thats kinda making me depressed... its weird going through my own ups and downs... its really really weird that each time i read a different day, i remember more things about that day... seems like January and February are pretty much downtimes... and well it goes on from there... i really wonder what happened to me, what i felt, and how other people felt.. its funny, well not funny, but more interesting and mind boggleing... I stumbled over March 11th, 2003... in which i posted "You Are" and remembered that i saw that in Ashley's room soon thereafter... haha, then i came over one entry that just said... you know the world hates you when theres no stars out.... i remember karalee saying on the phone, so theres no stars out huh? wow... amazing... the things we go through... how our paths change... alright, enough of that... Haha, work was actually quite frustrating.. at least in my part, i was in drives and people were just..... dumb or new, never been there before... each drive took forever to explain... well this is _____ we put _____ on it... it comes with ______ can't you freakin read you dumb for dumb moron... anyway, it was kinda relieved with some tips i got later on that night, but there was this one point in the night were a ford focus from last night came through... they were filled with 3 girls pretty cute, but the backseat one was hot... it was just really surprising, cuz they were like, if we all flashed you could we get a free meal, i was like... what the hell? sorry, but i can't do that, plus its cold out... and they were like, what the heck? you mean, if we showed you our tits you wouldn't give us anything? i was like, uh, sorry i probably wouldn't even look... they were stunned, and i laughed and gave them their food... they drove off smiling and bouncing to Da Rule- Sandstorm.... What crazy girls..... OH yeA, I made 6 bucks in tips... i was stoked.. and it was from 2 different people, a buck from one and 5 from another... i told them i didn't want to take it... but well, i gave in to temptation and took it eventually, i felt kinda bad and i told them that too, but they gave it to me anyway... now i just feel bad... but not really, but kinda i am.. but now i'm over it and 6 bucks richer... go me! Aww.. where's ashley....... and karalee..... love them both and kimball he's doing well tho.. and todd... what a goof, gotta write him back and me where am i........ ¤[Thought]¤ Wow, the past year of my life was really spent with karalee and in-n-out.... and i missed out on some pretty good months for typing- November and December.... what would my life be like without her? or half the other people i'm with?... My "I WILL" list I will do it now I will make and keep my committments I will find the right people who will help me I will look for an answer in every problem I will never give up trying I will make it OK to be wrong and make mistakes I will create my own good luck I will not be afraid to lose before I win I will be who I am and become what I was meant to be I will accept all things that are possible -also in my Aim Profile

Ugh...blogger...

Dang it... freakin technical difficulties and crap... man look what they did to my beautiful page!!! ARGH!!! oh well, i can't change it.. why should i get mad over it... might as well accept it... thats it for now.. peace!

Strong Bad

Ahh, Strong bad and his story with the Stunt Double you gotta check this one... Definately one of my favorites!!

10 Secrets to Success 1. How you think is everything. Always be positive. Think success, not failure. Beware of a negative environment. 2. Decide on your true dreams and goals Write down your specific goals and develop a plan to reach them. 3. Take action Goals are nothing without action. Don't be afraid to get started now. Just do it. 4. Be persistent and work hard Success is a marathon, not a sprint. NEVER give up. 5. Learn to analyze details. Get all the facts, all the input. Learn from your mistakes 6. Focus your time and money Don't let other people or things distract you. 7. Don't be afraid to innovate and be different Following the herd is the sure way to mediocrity. 8. Deal and communicate with people effectively No person is an island. Learn to understand and motivate others. 9. Enjoy your success Understand how you got there / take the time to reward everyone including yourself 10. Be honest and dependable; take responsibility Otherwise, numbers 1-9 won't matter.

Work n Sleep

Well, i worked and now i'm back home... ready to crash... gawd, i'm way freakin spaced out, its not even funny... i don't know where my energy went... it like dissappeared in a matter of 10 minutes... i think it was when i sat down in the office with lawrence.... argh, i feel bad, i should've gone to breakfast with them like i said.... but i really don't... this is better for me i guess.. i need sleep.... so like... without further adieu.... ¤[Thought]¤ Your choices are a matter of your own self inflection, showing who you are and what you want to be... and thats it for right now... Nighty night world

Gawdayemeat

Ugh, well i HAD a dental appointment this mornin... well... a half an hour ago and well, i didn't go... my mom was supposed to pick me up and junk but didn't... and i even called her last night to remind her... then today she said that i never told her!! i was like... argh... hopeless.... yea well, anyway, i rescheduled for tomorrow... Well... life has hit... and hard.... just more and more stuff piled on the huge gelatinous mass thats in the corner... its manageable, but i'm not sure how long i can keep myself afloat... its been a little crazy, ya know.. with like work and home and crap... i'm still trying to get out of my house as much as i can... and haha, i also gotta clean the rest of it... Ugh, i shouldn't continue to put this crap off... its not look responsible and well.. good either.. anyway... i'm done for now... ¤[Quote]¤ Stacy's mom has got it goin on

You can't find me!!!

Haha.. right now i'm at the UNLV computer labs with lawrence phil and christina... we're just kickin it as he does some homework and what not.. i think its kinda funny... lawrence is sitting in front of me at one computer, christina to the right of me at another and phil in front and to the right of me... he's just kickin it tho.... haha Hahaha, christina and i are talking on aim right next to each other.. funny eh? she's all lookin all funny... she's typin to daisy... Looky i can see you and you're tyin to me... haha... you'll prolly read this and well... think something like... f'n mykii, what are you thinkin... what a nerd... haha crazy ness..... alright i think i'm done with this... at least for now..

Ahh... normalcy... Back at work once again... I was actually excited to go back for some odd reason... well not like really really hyper extensively immense excitement, but i was like... i'm ready to do things right. We [Jeremy, Christina, that one new chick with the Rockelle name er something, Phil and Jerod] watched a craptacular movie... Cold Creek Manor.... i didn't like it, i don't believe that the others liked it either... i don't really recommend it.. In all humility, being yourself is probably the best thing to do when you walk out of the Denny's bathroom with toilet paper in your nose and ears.... Ahh... thats really it guys and gals... ¤[Thought]¤ Ever wonder how different life would be omitting a certain period of time?

Head On Collision by New Found Glory I've been waiting for a good day I've been holding back long enough I've been hurting to tell you some things: It's not the falling of the temperature That's making all our bones run cold It's the breeze you make The presence felt when you're around me And it feels like im at an all-time low Slightly bruised and broken From our head on collision I've never seen this side of you Another tragic case of feeling Bruised and broken From our head on collision I've never seen this side of you Another tragic case And I'm still waiting for a good day I think I've held this long enough I think it's safe to tell you some things It's not just what you say to people And it's not the way you look at me It's the way you present yourself For all your worst critics to see And it feels like I'm at an all-time low Slightly bruised and broken From our head on collision I've never seen this side of you Another tragic case of feeling Bruised and broken From our head on collision I've never seen this side of you Another tragic case Then you were gone You were gone... All this time you just didn't know it yet You were gone... All this time you just didn't know it yet You were gone... And it feels like (feels like) I'm at an all-time low Slightly bruised and broken From our head on collision I've never seen this side of you Another tragic case of feeling Bruised and broken From our head on collision I've never seen this side of you Another tragic case Another tragic case of feeling Bruised and broken Another tragic case and I've been Still waiting for a good day Still waiting for a good day...

Heh, well hey! i'm back in tizown... i'm putting things together and i still have a lotta bumps to get out but i'm doing really well.... I'm taking care of mostly everything but i'm still missing something, its really important to me and i care so much about it... what it is? Karalee... I had a really fun night out, it was awesome and well, i never felt so much like myself... outrageously stupid, embarassing others with my presence and well, i can't go on describing me, someone should though.... just not me.. anyway, it was a dang fun blast and we're doing it next week dang it!! Wow... so amazing, so fun... I couldn't get though this [life] alone...

Ahh, yes... its working... WELL!!! awesome!! ah yes... last night- what a fast half blast from the past that didn't last too long... DA BEARS LOST DANG IT!!!!! anyway, i've been making fun of ian lately... UNLV BEAT WISCONSIN!!! how amazing is that?! its like... way amazing or something!! or its like... something amazing!! The day was spent flipping burgers from 10-12 at my brothers church picnic and playing around with the kiddies.. it was real fun, kids are a blast, but sometimes they're really annoying.. like when they follow you around, and its not like 1 follows you around, its like 5 and growing... but its fun anyway cuz then you just stop and they all run into you and just stare at you... haha gwhat a blast... the rest of the day was spent either sleeping on the L couch or watching the bears game/ watching gone in 60 seconds (since the bears kinda suck)... it was a usual night for me and well, it was good. Ahh... i talked to Ashley last night!! That was really cool, it was fun talkin to her... now i that was the longest time i ever talked to her (i think i say that every time i actually talk to her)... hah... anyway, she's doing well, she's lovin the kiddies and stuff out there... i guess INO blows out there too... her car is havin some crappy troubles and its gettin handled.. She says everything is nice out there, and she's gettin homesick everynow and then, but i guess that she'll be fine soon... this friday karalee is goin down there to go watch a show and bring ash's kitty down there... haha... way random, but ashley said that the asian guy in the Burger King commercial (the one where the little girl makes some kinda contraption and the guy appears and makes some funky face) looks like me!!! I was like, oh heck no... i made fun of that guy when i first saw him.. and that was like. 10 minutes ago!! oh well, all asians look a like i guess =). heh, by the time i was done talkin to her, it was i think 1:30... so thats like 10:30 there i guess... Well i tried going to sleep after i talked to ashley.. i tried to think that i was tired so i could actually go to sleep, but that didn't work out too well... so i called Lawrence knowing that he's always chillin at home doin school work n junk now a days and so i could catch up on things in vegas i guess... he's doing alright... not much for him to really do.. he just goes to work goes to school and bam, its just about over... he doesn't really get to hang out too much because of that, and well i guess when he does, its fun... he's been tellin me some update junk about ino as well... haha i guess we got a bunch of new hires there... erica went to arizona, gregs gone for school, people are all workin the night shift... both him and ashley told me that karalee's at 88 now... funny, i was really thinking of transfering there after i got back, but eh, we'll see what happens..... steve's getting married... i guess lawrence said that larry's was all pissed off after karalee left, heh... from what i'm told, he got like a 2 hour talk with blando outside er something..... hmm, i... wonder... eh, moving on... i guess things at ino are a little spastic... i guess i'll go back to 165 with some kinda crap headin my direction, or i'll be in dining room or somethin... oh well, bring it on, its not every day that you're gettin paid 9 bucks to clean tables... well maybe... i don't know... well i talked to him for a little longer just to see what was up with him, and i guess i got done with him around 2:35... i convinced myself that i was really sleepy... and well, i went to sleep for another like 10 minutes feelin like it was an hour... and well, i woke up, checked my phone, and Instant messenger alerted me that karalee signed on at like 1 somethin (i got AIM to alert me when people sign on... its kidna cool) and i was like hey, maybe she's awake... i looked at the clock 3 somethin and called karalee's house (12:00 right?)... emily answered and well knew it was me.. she said that karalee was sleepin, so i was like, no sweat... catcha later..... Well i finally got to sleep... its been hard going to sleep in the past couple weeks... and dang, i guess i was a day off.. i come back in like 2 days....wow, i thought it was going to be thursday, but... i guess not... oh well, impending doom is approaching... funny haha.. well at least i'm getting more scared about it now instead of tomorrow... yipe! Well its only 11 am... i guess i better do some laundry and clean up the house a bit... i'll catch me here again.... but the elevator is broken in this building.... so i'm GONNA HAVE TO JUMP!!! ¤[Quote]¤ what the hell is wrong with me i don't fit in with anybody how did this happen to me? wide awake im bored and i can't fall asleep and every night is the worst night ever

Ugh, well since the last one again got jacked up... (i'm thinkin of writing blogger... they be pissin me off the sheazy)... i'm going to sum up my thoughts... Moving... Indiana, Ohio, Vegas, Somewhere else in vegas, pros and cons there of.. What went on the past couple days Freakin Ian presented a presentation about mormonism to his church Miscellaneous thoughts regarding me going back to vegas and my perspective on such. How fun indiana was Girls and junk Talked to scott And thats just about it... in minor detail of course.. ¤[Partial Conversation]¤ "How can you not like The Beatles? They've got a song for everyone!" "Ha, so they're kinda like Walmart... Walmart has something for everyone." "You can't compare The Beatles to Walmart!!" "Haha... I Just DiD!!" -Caitlyn, Maddy (sp?), Me ¤[Thought]¤ I'm not ready to take on my life again... not forgetting work and where i'm gonna live... oh and the recently terminated health, life and dental insurance as well as car insurance... dandy... dandy dammit..... 9-11.......

Well, once again, i have to type everything over again, stupid piece of crap crap dog dung dung dookie.. i'm retarded Ahh.. where to start... again.... Yesterday was pretty cool, i woke up screaming to a friend ringing the doorbell.. we played some gamecube and xbox and then i got caught up in a game and he dissappeared upstairs in this loft... i think he was looking at a certain something.... not kosher man.... freakin whackness.... well he got some from himself i believe... the history of Internet Expoder was erased and all my passwords to blogger, xanga, yahoo, were all erased, so he cleared his tracks for the most part..... but i knew... anyway, after he took off, i just played a little more xbox and then made my way upstairs to the loft where i seached for music that i'd like... well i found some stuff but not that much.... that took me all the way to v-ball!! Vball was insane once again, i didn't play all that great, i was really sore and tired and am full of knots still... freakin theres one in my quad that kills like no other... i dunno if its even a knot... dang man, whenever i type knot, i want to put garlic in front of it... mmmm garlic knots..... anyway Andy was freakin on last night, like me, he relieves his stress by playing ball.. and wow he's got a lot of it... The Dark comes before the Dawn Andy is definatly one to know this.. especially right now, he just bought a house with a leak in it, he broke up with his 2 year girlfriend, his job is offering him a Demotion or he's gotta write a 6 month action plan and if anything fails in his action plan, he'll be held responisble and may be subjected to corrective action... and well, now he's waiting for otehr things to happen.. like getting into a car accident... oh wait, that already happened... yea, so pretty much he's lookin for other things that can be going bad in his life.... I kinda know the same deal, i'm not so much in the dark i'm just more of entering, waiting for more stupid things to happen, such as; a lost plane ticket, a broken nail, minidisc batter running out on the plane, my hair not looking right... stuff like that... funny haha.. yea, but i dont know what to do when i get back, i dont know what will happen and i dont know if what i plan to do is going to make me go nowhere, or somewhere that i don't want to be... both my bro and i dont really focus on the crappy things, its more of everything that reminds us of the things that we try to forget (or that we say that we forget, but somehow... SOMEHOW they just come back)... for instance.. andy wasn't supposed to go to this church meeting on sunday, but he had to fill in for someone. The meeting was only an hour on the weekend that his exgirlfriend was in town (she was in town for a wedding that her and andy were supposed to go to).. well she decided to stop by the church during the hour that my bro was there... yea, i bet that hurt.. but yea, me? i just don't let go of things, good and bad.. and everything reminds me of something else... like things are chained and webbed together.. mostly random things... like.. lets try one... haha, i just picked one fresh from the noggin... i just saw a razor scooter... at first i thought of Lindsay Beckstead going down the strip with her prom group.. then i thought of prom and why i'm a loser and don't got guts.. then i thought of ashley, and that led to kimball, and that lead to kimball and karalee's dispute, and then i thought of karalee, and then i thought of oh crap....... anyway that was a good one... i should make long banners like that or like make wallpaper for the legally deaf but still can read and hear things... I got that idea from the "Make long banners and wallpaper for the legally deaf but can still read and hear things" book by Leem Faghwichnolyfe. Its a pretty gooda booka... Oh i also talked to Mike O'Connell!! that was soo freakin cool.. he was my caukasian twin from 4th grade.. we were equal in like everything, speed, height, amount of games we both owned, bikes... i haven't actually talked to him for like 7 years... soo cool... i wonder where he got my phone number from... it was soo cooolio... anyway, that was that.. Ahh, today.... Today, well this part of today, was pretty stagnant.. freakin i typed this over and over again, of course changing things... and i listened to some music.. like.. Wakefield and The get up kids and like Rooney.. its gooda stuff.. I'm supposed to hang out with kimball today, well now its the afternoon, freakin i took like 3 hours typing the last 2 versions of this... and well, he was taking a long awaited nap.... well, i guess we're not gonna hang out today.... No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.... i guess i can put that on kimball's pov after his deal... but most of us would disagree on kimball's pov, so its all funny.... No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap. Mostly True!! Um whatelse... well i guess nothing.... well thank you for tuning into Surreal Reality, remember this was brought to you by viewers like you. ¤[Thought]¤ I want to go to a resturant bathroom and put "No wonder you go home alone" on one of their mirrors.. :)

Things I'd like to do sometime 1. Go traveling with friends 2. Be scared for no apparent reason 3. Go innertubing down a hill on a rainy day 4. Play tag on a crowded street 5. Set up a treasure hunt deal 6. Go on a treasure hunt deal 7. Volunteer time and energy to a good cause 8. Make a difference in someone's life 9. Go camping someplace 10. Carve my name in a tree at a place i'll remember 11. Cram as many people as i can into a compact car of some sort 12. Drive and sing 80's music as loud as i (we) can with the windows down 13. Drive and attempt to sing Mexcian music as loud as i (we) can with el windows downo. 14. Take pictures of street names and arrange the words into a story. 15. Climb a tree and have a sandwich 16. Get buff 17. Finish the things to do when bored in Wal-mart 18. Go on a roadtrip with some friends 19. Have a perfect day 20. Be able to treat people to dinner at ______ 21. Finish this some other time ¤[Thought]¤ When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn't doing the same thing. ... To be continued

Things to do when bored in Wal-mart or somethin.. 1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they don't realize it. 2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in house wares," and see what happens. 5. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10." 6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. 7. Put M&M's on lay-by. 8. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. 9. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath. 10. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?" 11. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose. 12. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men. 13. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 14. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. 15. Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest rooms. 16. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible." 17. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store. 18. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels. 19. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "pick me! pick me!!" 20. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!" 21. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it. 22. Go into the dressing room and yell real loud..."Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!"

Laying sleepless in my bed... Thousands thoughts stream in my head... Asking questions... Taking trials... Making errors... Bringing smiles... Facing problems and denials... Stripping pitfalls... Saving files... Though I know my muse is near, yet no poem text I hear, and my paper is still clear as if the ink just disappears... Absence diminishes little passions and increases great ones, just as the wind blows out a candle and fans a fire. Haha, i never thought of the word Bowling, until one of my bro's friends mentioned it... i had so much fun with it for the first.... well... 40 times i went.. then i just kinda stopped going.... i went all the time in vegas... and well, i just dont feel like i gotta do it anymore. Its fun none the less, but its not one of my big passions i guess... Its so true though, you're away from somethin you love so much that it makes you love it more and you lose interest in the other crap in your life.. like stress... is stress a passion? i'll find out.... Ahh.. an example... I want my car back dang it... i haven't had one for long time that now i really want one.... and well my skateboard? eh, liked it, but i wouln't go back and strive for one.... heh.. yea, thats a good example... i'm the bomb. As stated on my other page, i don't really feel like discussin too much, so like.. yea, i'm gonna bum out and get somethin to drink... like a dr. pepper.... *drool* and maybe a side of some kind of drug... like a sleeping pill... ¤[Thought]¤ No Contact fishing isn't fun to watch...........or participate in.

Ugh, i'm sick of it, i'm staying up all night thinking to myself a whole different array of things.. its really different looking in from the outside... its amazing how you're no one to a close friend, and someone to an aquintance or just a social bud... i never even thought about how close this person was... and yet, how far this person was at the same time... and even how far another person was, but yet so close... i really should stop typing, its all making circles and repeating itself... nothing will ever be the same... i no longer want it to be... i've accepted the change and well, don't need to dwell on it any longer... I've talked to some people... and the impact of what they said was a lot diferent.. it was like somethin clicked and alerted me... Once again reality hit me... chances are.. i won't be seeing half of these people that i know in 10 years... although it'd be nice.. and i haven't seen half of these people that i know for 7 years... yea its fun hangin out... makin drama n junk, but i guess i shouldn't invest all my energy into this anymore... I talked to my best-equally-athletic-friend from the 4th grade.... he was my twin, but white, kinda like wilson... but instead it was soccer instead of v-ball... well wow, i actually chatted with him for a while, caught up on things n junk... i haven't seen this guy since the 6th grade... now he's in college and everything and is going well for him.... all my other friends are all taking off to other sides of the country... and well, more friends are all leavin the state... I guess nows the time, if there was a specified time, to go out and find people... indiana has some really nice people... ohio has some nice people as well... nevada also has nice people... maybe change is iminent... i've heard it before... i probably wont even live by these people when i grow up... and its the truth.. i guess it hurts a little, prolly hurt me more if it hurt other people, but i dont know jack about that right now.. I can only assume that things are going well in vegas... lol, my imformant lawrence is good about keepin in touch... and odd enough, its like 5 over here and i just finished talking to brittany... things are doing well without me... thats good... whatever man... just me blastin my brain off the heazy for sheeezy computer screeeny.... ¤[Thought]¤ Hit or Miss....

oh wow, look what picture i ran into on my really old website... thats funny.. HI KARALEE!!! More like.. "hi camera in my face" haha, what a hottie anyway... Looky at my new style!! don't it look nice?? I added a Chatterbox on the right side 4 comments, hi's, bye's, whats up's.... cool eh? next thing to update? my Xanga!!!! well maybe in the near future.... I'm a rockin and a rollin 2night!!

3 words.... i hurt... bad So i've been lazy for the past couple days... what's wrong with that? Nothing right? good, thanks for agreeing.. anyway, i've been sittin around being sore and not wanting to move for the past couple days... mostly since we've got done moving... last night was my reason for being so sore.. i actually got to play some v-ball last night.. and well wow... i'm sore... i was actually in the game, all intense and junk.... well... i was rockin the hizouse hardcore style like a pimp handlin a whore, it was royally awesome... my bro and i played 2v3 players.. and well it was great... i hate bragging... so done with that.... man i'm freakin awesome like that.... BAM... aint nothin like that rec center crap in vegas... I'm definately homesick... it blows... today was spent sleeping... i freakin slept till 3:30pm and when i woke up, i played Soul Calibur 2 for xbox the whole day till my bro came back... and even then we were playing for the next couple hours... but afterwards we watched an episode of band of brothers.... Yay, i paid my cell phone bill... that was exciting... next thing to tackle.... structure/express credit card bill...... that'll prolly be taken care of in the next couple days.... well, maybe i'm not soo homesick... well i miss certain things such as 2 lane roads and people that know how to drive.. oh wait, they don't know how to drive either... well maybe just the 2 lane roads... and karalee, brandon, chelsa, lyra, squires', thomas', lawrence, tega and a bunch more people that i'm too lazy to type... and moutnains i guess... OH YEA IT RAINS!!! IT REALLY EXISTS!!!! "And as the days go by..." Over here, its August 30th... man how time is flying... for the good and the awesome..... back in vegas its still the 29th tho... holy crap man... in 2 days, ashley is taking off... i really can't believe it... as much as i don't want her to go, i do want her to go.. i feel that she'll be quite happy down there and i know that she'll be taken care of.... and well, if she doesn't like it, i guess she can come back =P... man oh man.. i haven't seen her for like... a long while... or longer than a while.... I wonder how Ashley's parents will handle her absence... man alive.. and i can only imagine whats going on in karalee's head about ashley... then of course i kinda figure what kimball's thinkin... and well, i don't know about everyone else.. bill's prolly gonna be some sorts of "dude, i can't believe she's leaving, dude... dude dude dude... oh yea dude, she's really dude leaving dude.. awesome, i love her dude. dude!". haha... dang, i wonder how he's holdin up... no wait, no i don't.... It seems like i might be staying in indiana for another week... andy and his v-ball setter want me to play again next week.. i guess they're impressed... they want me to play club and stuff and wonder why i dont play for college... (they want me to move down here to play ball in other words =P).... the next v-ball night is on tuesday and i think that's a little too close for me right now, seeing that i'm extremely sore and immobile.. I don't really mind staying out here i guess... its more entertaining i think (ps2, xbox, internet... dog and cat, car everynow and then)... and well, i'm that much closer to vegas... it really makes a diffrence.. i can smell the smoke... I'm starting to use AIM for my phone... hopefully instant messagin on the phone is as good as people make it out to be... hopefully then i wont miss those messages from people i care about.... it'll be cool i think... if i actually get some service... There are some dang attractive girls, or should i say.. wo men.. out here... it may be an influence to move out here (eh...) and wow, they're not always at the mall!! its really.... different... they're not whores and are really nice... i'm not sayin that vegas has got all whores and mean girls.... well, maybe.. haha i'm kiddin!! anyway, i really gotta go.. .: Thought :. I gotta dump.... ^^