Untitled

I dont know what to think still. I might be taking this all too hard. But still I still feel like I'm on another fake side of Karalee... I know that she's going to do certain things... I find out, well I don't intentionally find out, but people tell me things that she'll be doing.. and well, I won't know, or whatever... Just like her going to 88... found that out from Brittany then Ashley... Really, I shouldn't care so much. But I do care, and thats what really sucks... Its like I'm all happy at work, then I call Karalee and well, I'm not really spoken to for 4 minutes or so.. she's talking with everyone else... but what can I expect, I know better or something... I know.... The usual......whatever, I don't know what her usual is. I might know her better than I think I do, but well, at this point I'm not even thinking of that as an option... La la la, she's going out of town or something... Maybe she is, maybe she isn't, I've yet to find out.... She called tonight, we talked for about 24 seconds, then Kimball called her after he called me... Then later on she called me... like 3 hours later.. well, at least she called back like she said.... and well, we just talked, I really listen too much, it was mostly about how her day was so long, how she spent time with her family and how all sorts of differen't people are fabulous... or whatever, cute, or blah.... but that's her, sayin crap, loving them anyway... She mentioned something about her being lonely.... I shrugged it off and was thinking to myself... hell you hang out every day and with different people, how can you be freaking lonely... she somewhat answered my thought with something like its like her being lonely even though she hangs out with people everyday... like she's missing something..... who knows what that could be... it could be a freakin manicure for all thats out there.... i dont know..

There's hope... I don't see it, but I feel it. If it was ment to break, it would've broken down a while ago... I can't be excited to see her every time though... she's not exactly all that excited, or it seems like that... i dont know... i probably shouldn't improvise this crap that i dont know.. it'll be dangerous later on.......

We'll see.... if she ever has time... but time, is all about management... She can do it if she wants to... how bad is up to her...

as for me, I'll continue to take everything she says with a small coffee filter and little cream, I'll believe it when it happens, I'll believe it when its proven... i can't give any credit to her words... i've been broken too many times by that... sticking up for and her life... i should stop, but i probably wont...

¤[Thought]¤
Its draining my head.... too much think...