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It was cool today, Matt Beckstead actually came to church with me.. then afterwards, Sean and I made 78 wontons and gave half to his family and the other half to Brandon and Chelsa... I was hoping Karalee would be back home so she could have some... but she wasn't... I know she would've liked them a lot... I went to 88 afterwards, where I spent 2 and a half hours just chillin and talkin with Ashley, Becky and Kathy... They're funny... Becky hooked it up with some burgers, well 2 patties, a cheese patty, and a 3x2.... it was good stuff... she takes care of me when I hang out, its cool... anyway afterwards... sebastian had this crazy idea that all rim sizes are rim sizes -3.. so a 13 inch stock rim is a 10 inch rim... I told him he was on crack... I told him that my rims are 16's and he said that they were 13's... I was like, you're a dummmy.. then his friend was all like that too... Him and a festiva... or some crappy hatchback that was ghetto outta its mind... anyway, he's a crackhead and so is his friend... freakin they didn't ever hear of a 3 cylinder engine... they thought that I was on crack and stuff... I'm like you're retards, freakin Geo Metros had 3 cylinder engines.... freakin retards... oh I think I spend too much time and energy on these stupid people... they waste my time too much... There isn't much that happened after that... I really came home as fast as I can... seeing how bad these rims slow my acceleration down... and yea, they take turns a lot better, and the ride is so much smoother, but its hard for the car to spin these wheels... but oh well, I don't need to go that fast anymore, especially with this jacked up axle...

¤[Thought]¤
What happened with my sister and I? What did I do.....

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The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

House work is something you do that nobody notices unless you don't do it.

The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.

Beauty is only a light switch away.

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I'm pretty sure that Karalee is out of town right now.. well at least earlier today or something.. so ok... Closing really sucked tonight, I mean who ever thought that you would actually ask for Steve back? Danya.. holy shmolikesne I was really going to kill someone... well hopefully danya... anyway... I kept on using the line that I made up: I'm going to hit her with a crowbar until she bleeds, then slap her with the mop that I'm mopping her blood up with. It was just so frustrating... ugh... now that its over, I don't really remember too many bad things... Well except her nagging and her telling me to put more fries down when i had 3 baskets and she was wheeled and only had 1 row down... and the second grill was still going.... and I just about had to clean both grills at closing cuz it sucked... well I'm freakin done with that...

I made more wontons today... I tried bringing some to Brandon and Chelsa, but they couldn't be home before I worked... so well, I'm going to make some more tomorrow morning and hopefully get it to them tomorrow... I still have a lot of meat in the fridge... so anyway, I brought the ones that I did make into work and well, they were devoured... I was surprised... DANG IT, I forgot my tupperware... argh..

My dad keeps turning off my computer.. its getting really aggravating, I believe that I mentioned it before. Ahhh, I'm so stoked, I have my Holiday Havok tickets!! SO STOKED!!! WAY STOKED!! I can't WAIT!!! IT'LL BE SO TIGHT!!!....

Nothing else is really on my mind.. I know, its pretty sad, but O well... Screw it. La dee freakin da.... I'm going to sleep probably..

¤[Thought]¤
Poke me in the eye with a gun, then shoot me.... that's a lot better then shooting me in the eye with the gun, then poking me, cuz then I can feel the poke before I die.

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I dont know what to think still. I might be taking this all too hard. But still I still feel like I'm on another fake side of Karalee... I know that she's going to do certain things... I find out, well I don't intentionally find out, but people tell me things that she'll be doing.. and well, I won't know, or whatever... Just like her going to 88... found that out from Brittany then Ashley... Really, I shouldn't care so much. But I do care, and thats what really sucks... Its like I'm all happy at work, then I call Karalee and well, I'm not really spoken to for 4 minutes or so.. she's talking with everyone else... but what can I expect, I know better or something... I know.... The usual......whatever, I don't know what her usual is. I might know her better than I think I do, but well, at this point I'm not even thinking of that as an option... La la la, she's going out of town or something... Maybe she is, maybe she isn't, I've yet to find out.... She called tonight, we talked for about 24 seconds, then Kimball called her after he called me... Then later on she called me... like 3 hours later.. well, at least she called back like she said.... and well, we just talked, I really listen too much, it was mostly about how her day was so long, how she spent time with her family and how all sorts of differen't people are fabulous... or whatever, cute, or blah.... but that's her, sayin crap, loving them anyway... She mentioned something about her being lonely.... I shrugged it off and was thinking to myself... hell you hang out every day and with different people, how can you be freaking lonely... she somewhat answered my thought with something like its like her being lonely even though she hangs out with people everyday... like she's missing something..... who knows what that could be... it could be a freakin manicure for all thats out there.... i dont know..

There's hope... I don't see it, but I feel it. If it was ment to break, it would've broken down a while ago... I can't be excited to see her every time though... she's not exactly all that excited, or it seems like that... i dont know... i probably shouldn't improvise this crap that i dont know.. it'll be dangerous later on.......

We'll see.... if she ever has time... but time, is all about management... She can do it if she wants to... how bad is up to her...

as for me, I'll continue to take everything she says with a small coffee filter and little cream, I'll believe it when it happens, I'll believe it when its proven... i can't give any credit to her words... i've been broken too many times by that... sticking up for and her life... i should stop, but i probably wont...

¤[Thought]¤
Its draining my head.... too much think...

So be it.. just like one of those other lines Let it be... Fine... So be it. I'm done and finished with it. The stress isn't for me and isn't getting me anywhere. I'm at the point where its just like... I don't care about it anymore. It hurts too much and I need to just let it go. Working through this one isn't working. I guess its my move, and well I'm punting the ball as far as I can. And well, its her ball now. And well, if it doesn't work out then, I'm not going to cry, sure I would like it to work out, but I'm not going to stress over it anymore. Lawrence went to the concert... it was a blast from what I hear, I guess I missed out on all the goods. Lawrence found both a Hoobastank and an All American Rejects pick. He was nice enough to go ahead and call me a couple times during the concert to let me hear some of it... Too bad the reception was crappy, although I did get a couple songs... it was tight.. I just bought my Holiday Havok Tickets.... For December 11th!! it was a total impulse buy, but o well... I'm going to this one no matter what and I'm going to love it... GO YELLOWCARD!!!

Putting one foot in front of the other... will get you where you need to be even if it is slow.. "It's strange ya know. Everyone goes away in the end. Even if i want to hang on to people they have to do what they have to do. I can not stop them from doing what is right for them... Even if that does mean leaving the state. I should worry more about what is goin on in my life; but im not... but yet... i am?... if that makes any sense?" - Vera I could relate I guess... It is time I moved forward and stop giving into my depressions when I feel neglected... I am a good person and people love me damn it!!!

Things that make you go Hmm...

If I was a father in a waiting room, and the nurse came out and said, "Congratulations, it's a girl," I think a good gag would be to get real mad and yell, "A girl? You must have mixed me up with that dork!" and point to another father.

YaY!

Walmart has Caramel Corn!!! I just returned home from there... I had an craving for pepperoni... 2 Stars are out.... I wonder for who, cuz they're not for me.

With the crazy sporadic people and hectic lives they're entangled in, time is limited. School, work, errands and fun stuff... its all worked in there somewhere... Fun? its fragmented between everything... little here, little there... and well, whenever you really do have time to have some fun... not too many people are available to kick it with you... You find time for me, and I'll find time for you... that's how it really is now... well, either that or, I'll find time for you and I'll get myself a danish while I look at this again... I bought a new case for my computer today... it was kinda in impulse buy but was planned a while ago... so, well i dont know what that makes it... i bought a case fan as well, you know, to help cool the system down... anyway, i transfered everything from my old case to the new, and well found out that the fan has 3 lights in on it... its kinda funky... now i have little colored spots on one wall... it kidna makes for a cool effect though... Along with my case, I had to buy a heatsink and cooling fan for my processor (the real reason i went shopping- my fan died on the other heatsink and my computer was down for 2 days..) and well, I guess it was a good investment ($19.99). I was able to overclock quite a bit more than I previously could. And well, along with the death of my cpu fan, my main hard drive with windows on it was also formatted by a virus. I reinstalled Windows Xp and Service pack 1 and everythings back up and running... except the soundcard, I believe i burnt it out (couldn't handle the overclocked power)... anyway, I'll probably buy a cheap one next week ($19.99). Lamers.... LAMERS!!! Back in 6th grade, our class went on a trip to Springfield, IL. At the time, a couple of buds and I were able to room and ride the whole trip... I recently ran over pictures that I took over the trip, and well, I found, along with the many interesting pictures, a picture of our bus. On it said LAMERS, the bus company... Work is still work, nothing too exciting, people are still people, they're still annoying... what changes in a period of forever? I was let off work early today, most likely due to me being a minute late. I wanted to stay longer, but didn't really care much to grovel and beg (like it'd get me anywhere anyway... well maybe closer to the floor). Besides being really hot and sweaty, handheld is pretty nice, and its a lot nicer when you're actually recognized for your efforts... I was recently told that everyday that I'm on handheld, our store or paywindow, receives 1 or 2 compliments. Thats kinda helping me keep a somewhat positive or neutral outlook on INO. Scott was over today for a brief moment, and mentioned that he was going out to a park to play some cards. At the time I was putting the puzzle pieces of my computer back together. Scott said something about UNO, and something nostalgic came to my mind... I haven't played cards for the longest time and I'd think it'd be fun if I (we) got a group together to play some card games... UNO, Phase 10, Spoons, Hearts, Poker, Junk like that.... I can't remember the last time I played Uno... Phase 10 was back with Ashley, Todd, Karalee, Aaron, Jamie, Carolyn, Lindsay and I believe one more, but of course, I'm always mistaken.. Spoons was with Jolynn and Missy, Hearts was back in Chicago in a basement with my brother's friends, Poker was with Phil and his drunk friends who were wanting to strip... Well, the concert is coming up... I dont know if I'm really going to go or not... I can't really afford it, but of course I could probably fit it in and still be alright and ok.. I still might be able to go though, hopefully with a cheaper price tag... Scott and a bunch of church friends are all going to the concert as well as Lawrence. Scott's friend is going out of town during the day and well, Scott's going to check to see if she is still going to use the ticket (or like save it or somethin... who knows).. One of my plans was spoiled by my lack of saying no... I spent quite a bit of money just on food and going out and stuff... then well i spent 70 more bucks today on my computer crap... On thursday, I was planning to run down to my insurance company and see what the heck I bloody need. I asked my dad for his liscence on that day and he said that he doesn't understand why, so he'd going to call them to figure it out... So I say... whatever, alright, go ahead... With this next check, I should be clear for most of the crap I need to get done, well except the insurance thing... hopefully that will be taken care of soon, I don't want the Squires to pay another month for it, but it seems that I slacked off too much for that not to happen.. Structure Card needs to be paid off.. Cell Phone needs to be paid off.. but for both of those, I have another 2 weeks... As usual, April asks how's Karalee doing? I swear its a routine now... "She's doing well I think, Call her, see whats up".... I think thats kinda.... yea, finish? I need not. I tortured myself for a total of 39 minutes talking to Bill... I had nothing else better to really do, so well, I called him up... I wasn't planning on talking for that long, but what is planned that doesn't go wrong? It was weird, cuz he was talkin and talkin and talkin, then asked if I talked to Ashley lately. I replied no and said I haven't tried for a while now.. Later on that night, approximently 30 minutes later.. I recieve a voicemail from Ashley just sayin whats up and askin how I'm doin... I was kinda sad, my phone didn't ring any and I got the voicemail 10 minutes after she called... So anyway, I called her back and left a message on her voicemail.... She's cool..... I'm wondering when I can get rid of these cats now.. They were cute for a long time and everything, but now its like, ahhh.... this one doesn't like me and just runs around the house... They're not doing anything bad, they're just there... Not really interacting with me (except the lightest one which I've yet to name)... Lyra is still moody, not sure if she's scared of me or if she likes me. Wow, this post is going to be another long one... RECORD BREAKING!! MYKII GOES FOR THE GOAL!!! that and a cup of java.... heh I wish. More so, I'd like a Toffee Nut Creme.... oh blah.. For some reason, I'm really sore all over... My abs, arms legs, butt.... all sore... and I couldn't tell you why either.. Oh yea, not to exclude my neck either, but wow, they all hurt... I don't have the money to go and get a total physical yet, but it'll be done sometime. Oh yea, along with cleaning my room/house still and well, getting a desk for my room... and also some blinds so people can't watch me grease myself up before I do some sweat breaking typing on my computer... ¤[Thought]¤ If you say that you're going to do something, do it wheither it be Writing letters, paying people, calling people back, writing e-mails, picking someone up..... just saying you will doesn't make you any better, or respectable of a person. And I know I have my things to work on, I hope others work on theirs too... Andy, Ian......

Almost White: Surreal Reality

Changing places... thats all, don't ask why... you'll know what it is when its done....

Wow... so i woke up late for the meeting this morning... no biggie... got there in 10 minutes... not bad, not too good, it was only 10 pushups anyway..... well, the word is out... larry's outta here... i guess john is comin in... its gonna be a little crazy i think, but not too crazy... well just a little bit of cra and a whole lot of zycrap.... oh yea... dang, after the meeting, ashley alford and maria and i went to the 99 cent store... maria bought 3 boxes of condoms and well.. the counter guy was all sorts of have a good day... so i said, you mean, have a good night.... or nights.... he just looked at me and ashley and said you better keep an eye on her [maria]... i just laughed.. anyway, we took those condoms and put them on steve's truck.. maria blew a couple up and put them on his antenna.. on his window, she wrote, drive safely... muhahaha... and all the while, ashley and i were putting more condoms on the wheels and other places like the gas thingy and what not... it was dang funny... not to mention a little fun... and heh, now i'm back home... i really don't want to close tonight.... still.... dang it.... mother..... peanut.... oh well, not having a life is alright i guess... whatever though.... and dang it, theres a concert on thurdsay with hoobastank and all american rejects... I WANNA GO!!! oh yea, and the ataris at another date, although it might have passed already.. but dang it!! I WANNA GO!!.. except for the stupid fact that i close on thursday... i might be able to have johnny i close for me, but i still need to get another body for the nightshift seeing that john also works the night shift... karalee you should come if you can!! well, i should come if i can.... oh little cheeseball.... i've been bleeding uncontrollably lately... well from my nose... and well, for some time, my scabs haven't been healing properly... both of which are pretty bad, i really need to get an all out physical to see whats going on... been a little dizzy and moody lately... its like i snap out of things really easily now.... well, more now as to before... it seems as if i just don't have any motavation to do anything/whatever i'm doing/or anything i'm going to do.. or say.... dang it..ugh, i haven't cleaned my room or house compeletely either... and well, i didn't even set up my whole stereo system yet... and dang i'm all proud of my system... I still need to go to luv it sometime soon i guess... gotta say hi to greg and grab me some grub.... good grub.... great good grub, grab great good grub from greg, going to grab great good grub from goofy greg..... dork? i am not.... i'm an UBERDORK!!!!! All laugh in my name!! anyway.. i think i'm gonna take a nap... or either go out and buy some cat food/ fuses for the car, or like sleep or pick my butt with a highlighter.... not just any highlighter... a pink one.... and well, i guess i'll finish up tonight!! catch me later... ¤[Thought]¤ At least someone's happy i want some applesauce... well more applesauce.... or something with apples.... apple chips, apple juice, applesauce, slices, pie, apple cininimon cherrios.. or even an apple.... or cheese... cheese is good....

Its hard trying to drink out of a straw with holes in it...... well, work was long... i didn't really have a day or night to do anything... i worked form 12:00 to 3... then 5 to 11... so i got a total of 9 hours... i guess thats good for me... i dont know what to expect on this next paycheck.. hopefully i can save it... i dont think theres much for me to pay now... except cellphone and gas... i need to get my dad's liscense in order for me to get insurance.... i dont know how thats gonna work... i might have to steal it... or not.. who knows.. but i gotta get my insurance going... life has been slightly boring except for last night i guess.... i hate being in situations that just plain suck.... its just hard... gosh.... dumb..... stressful..... well, larry's leaving, its mostly known, but i guess there still aren't people who know... everyone at 150 knows.... oh yea, i worked there from 5-11... it was pretty wierd... anyway... tomorrow's friday, payday.... ugh, money sucks.... friends suck sometimes too.... life sucks sometimes, leeches suck, vacuums suck..... i dont know what i'm going to do tomorrow.... i work the night shift.... not sure when i'm getting off, but i'm pretty sure that i'll be there late... larry's shift and he's got me on handheld... so i'll be outside till like 9ish or 10ish... then who knows after taht.. last time he kept me to close.... and dang it, i dont want to close on saturday, i just want to work my day shift and crap... but i guess i gotta do somethin... either night shift or close... for either of the thomas'.. argh.. this'll be fun... i dont know if they'll find anyone else to work, but dang, i sure don't want to.... i just want a night off so i can relax and not have to worry about anything the next day.... I guess tomorrow though, i can call karalee in the daytime to do something, but well, whats there to do.... as of the moment, i don't really feel like talking... and probably tomorrow, i'll be all sorts of goin with the flow... argh, i gotta get gas... dang it, i hope i have enough gas to get me to 165 so i can get my paycheck, and then get to the bank so i can get more gas.... and i guess tomorrow night, karalee's gettin a big group to go out to the drive in or somethin, movie-ish.... i don't know if i want to go... not even sure if i can go.... we'll see though... i don't really feel like hanging out... well at least today i didn't feel like it too much.... heh, maybe cuz it was because i got off at 11... but whatever... ¤[Thought]¤ Sometimes i speak, but sometimes i don't think its heard... not like everyone's gotta listen to me but sometimes i think its taken as blah blah whatever thats cool type thing.... and i know it.... lol, maybe i should speak when spoken to... hahaha

Personality test.... Heh..

"Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out." Load of bull... but whatever

Nu Muzik tu Lystin 2

Cd's that I want to get and latest music that i've been into... Saves the Day Watashi Wa (They sound asian don't they?) Further Seems Forever Story of the Year I'm way into the music.... along with Yellowcard, The Ataris, All American Rejects... dang, i theres so many.... but wow, lovin it, and i'll bet you'll love it too... if you want me to burn you a mix cd, then shout out on the right side... Its kinda late out right now, but not too late, i'm kickin back with a 79 cent a&w root beer 2 liter, with a black kitten sleeping in my lap, listening to Watashi Wa and well, typing to all of you and me... and i smell the smell of weed and cigerettes, i dont know where its coming from, but its gettin to my head... anyway... i got to hang out with karalee and chelsa for a little bit, well it wasn't really much of a hang out, it was more of a tag a long deal.... but it was fine... i then went to scotts to hook up his "MonsterBig" as we call it, 200 gig hard drive.... stinkin, huge!!! afterwards, i went to jeremy's house cuz i said i would and played a little pool... later, i met brittany and lawrence at cold stone... and since then, i've been playing with the cats... The darkest white one doesn't really like me, the other 2 like me... but the black one loves me.... lyra is all sorts of not liking anything and the kittens still suck on her boobs... and well that leads me here... right now.... Ugh, work wasn't all that great, but it was good, to a point.... larry was being a dick and what not... not unusual, but would be nice without him like dat... well jimmy needed the day off so he asked jb if i could work over for him, he said yea, but i guess no one told the day managers... but whatever, i came in and got dressed, found out that jimmy was on board, larry finds out that i'm in for jimmy, gets pissed off and well, that was it really.... i was workin nicks board and i thought i was doing well, yea, i was doing well, i didn't jack up half as many times as on lawrences board (i'm distracted by lawrence's humming and singing) and well nick told me that he was going to throw 2 rows... well i got everything ready, and nick pulled both rows and larry just happened to see me with the 2 rows pulled and decided to make a comment about why he's pissed.... somethin about not having a strong enough board person or some deal, i was like f' off f'er.... freakin don't get mad at me punk.... nick said to not worry about it, he was being cool the whole day again, i think he's relaxing now.... lot more fun havin him like this than before... argh... larry pisses me off.... but whatever... bobbo even told me that it wasn't my fault, i wasn't the one who wanted to switch... he asked me why i'm puttin up with his crap... and well, hell i just don't care anymore..... he'll be gone in a bit..... so f' him..... dang it, i woke the kitten up... now shes sleeping on the clothes next to me.... how cute... the others are kickin it by the post of my futon... WHAT SHOULD I NAME THE LIGHTEST AND THE BLACK KITTENS???? Gimmie some ideas dang it!! i gotta call them something soon!! type over there ~~> Oooo, next weeks schedule is out... i work S- 11:00 S- Off M- 11:30 T- 11:30 W- 11:30 T-5:30 Close F- 11:30 ¤[Thought]¤ Stars aren't out tonight, but there may be hope for tomorrow.... My heater works!! I got my blanket in the car, a spare sweatshirt and well, i'm set for the winter and some cuddling if the chances arise... :) Argh, i want to get those cds so bad.... and dang, i need my paycheck for next week.. Ruff... i need to save money though... i might barely make it this week, i got almost no money.... pretty crappy.... anyway, i g agj crap... i didn't pay tithing this week...... suck... ugh... thats it, gotta go put this kitten to sleep, i wonder if she'll sleep with me on the bed...

Yahoo!

"Cheese is good" - A pin i bought

Well.... heh, thats the only word that i can think of using to start this off... i went to the mall with brittany to go shoppin... it was pretty cool, got some stuff... i shouldn't have... but i got some sweaters and some buttons and stuff.... gotta get ready for winter don't ya know..... i talked to ashley today... she's so rad, i miss her... went to olive garden with lawrence and justin and lindsay and brittany and ortega and and and.... that was mostly it.... i'm running out of gas... i just remembered that... and well, i must save money now.... i'm doing well... not the best, not the worst.... hanging in there without the luxuries that i'd like, but i'm not complaining too much.... i need to get stuff ready for todd... i'm a slacker.... i guess karalee and i need to chat... i know but i dont know about what, at least i think, but whatever... maybe i'll go and see her tonight... ugh, i'm kinda tired now, life has been alright, could be more fun, kinda sad but i'll make myself happy some way or another... ugh, i dont know what else... at least i know, but i don't feel like typing it.... happens a lot huh... i'm outtie... ¤[Thought]¤ i found karalee's and ashley's name tags... yay... i also found todds and kimballs... double yay... now wheres mine?

Keepin things short...

Fixed car up with 200 bucks... runs smooth, need 200 more dollars for new transaxle.... went to work, got frustrated, went on half, coolled off, closed, saw karalee!! and talked with nicky pooooooo.... and make nick's nipple hard...

«·´`·.(.·´( .·* Nothin too exciting! *·. )`·.).·´`·»

From Psychology by David G. Myers: "The urges you feel when sober are the ones you will more likely act upon if intoxicated" Yea, makes sense i guess.. whatever.. Well, i've been cut some hours this week... only like 28 i think for the week... haven't worked tomorrow but i'm hopin for at least 5 or so.... but whatever, i couldn't wait for this mornin to fix my car, and i knew i couldn't wake up this mornin, so well, i fixed the car last night... well, now i got some transportation and the car is better off... just need to fix some cv boots and maybe joints and do some brake jobs... and an oil change.. still haven't done that... not much happened last night, or even today so far... yesterday i was workin on the car with wilson, karalee helped me get a much needed tool, and we got one side workin fine.. then i went home and dropped wilson off... on the way to work, my drivers side wheel almost fell off... 3 lug nuts were frozen and the wheel itself is damaged and useless... got to work, worked, got off work then took lawrences car to get 4 wheel studs and a spindle nut so i could replace them that night... got home did that drove around, went to the thomas house, hung out a little, raced a little... sprinting that is.... it was mikey, phil, russell and i that raced... brittany was the finish line deal thing, it wasn't that far, but it was a sprint anyway... went inside, had some cookies then took off and went home to play diablo 2 and waited for lawrence to come over so i could fix his computer... he left, i played a little bit more diablo 2, went to sleep, woke up late and took a shower and got to work, dressed and made it to the stand on time... worked handheld, was freakin let off early... pretty gay shiznit... i was like... hey hey, where's my hour funk masta flex.. yea, i'm ghetto... yea right, HA... me ghetto? sure i've gotten lazy enough not to pronouce all my constantents and stuff and i mumble a lot more now, but i ain't no ghetto...foo yup yup yup, was gonna play some v-ball, but we'll see what happens.. i guess i'm gonna go shopping with britt too or somethin again... but we'll see what happens, i think i'm supposed to do somethin else, but we'll see what happens.... muhahaha.... ¤[Thought]¤

I'm back...

i really hate going to places un invited, and just showing up and stuff... makes me feel real, uh, well, uninvited... it makes things awkward and sporadic... you don't know if people really want you there or not.. you don't know if they purposely didn't invite you... you know, if they did, then they'd call or something....stuff like that... and also, i'm not dumb, i pick up crap pretty easily, well i think i do.. mostly when things are actually being spoken with out detail... or if its about a certain subject, maybe not me but someone else that i might have beef with or whatever... its pretty dang simple and really easy to notice.... a Yea, well, confronting jeremy didn't exactly work... the whole trip out there was mostly a freakin waste... well it was something to do i guess... i guess i didn't really have anything else i preferred to do... but anyway, we got to 88... karalee and jeremy weren't there.... so britt wanted to go inside, so we did, and we found out that they took off to the grocery store... so we're like ok... cool, we found out that they're comin back and stuff... well, i guess britt called once and karalee idnd't pick up, then the second time she picked up and britt found out that she's at albertsons... so for some reason, we drove down there just to drive back...oh yea, well i guess karalee didn't answer her phone cuz jeremy and her were talkin to the other jeremy from havasu or wherever... heh, haven't heard about that guy too much, mentioned once or twice, seen him around the area, but whatever, not my business and well, we got back to 88 and karalee and jeremy met up with the rest of the 88 crew that was goin, and they took off to go see a movie, karalee invited me then, but i just didn't feel like it... and britt and i headed back home, but britt wanted to check out if joann's was open, so we did... and they weren't.. so we started to head out and well, we went to a gas station, britt got some chapstick and some gum, and also bought me some chapstick... that was nice... all the while, listening to muzik.. oh whatever, im going to go find something relaxing to do... maybe just sit around do nothing, or maybe do something stupid... or hell, i'll steal my dad's car and, crap he put an alarm on his car... ha ha.. well i was going to look at the stars... i could really use some time out there right now... maybe i'll do it tomorrow.... oh yes... tomorrow..... ¤[Thought]¤ Krazy keeps me sane, but doesn't keep me stress free.... maybe i need some ARRID- stress stinks.. arrid works...

Cheese and crackers...

Actually nothin about cheese, or crackers... well maybe vanilla wafers... eh, not really... Yay, another song i can play... quite simple.... (dayem good song) I'll Be by Edwin McCain Album : Misguided Roses The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful Stop me and steal my breath And emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky Never revealing their depth Tell me that we belong together Dress it up with the trappings of love I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above Chorus:I'll Be your cryin' shoulder I'll Be loves suicide I'll Be better when I'm older I'll Be the greatest fan of your life And rain falls angry on the tin roof As we lie awake in my bed You're My Survival, You're My Living Proof My love is alive and not dead Tell me that we belong together Dress it up with the trappings of love I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above Chorus And I've dropped out, I've burned up, I fought my way back from the dead Tuned in, turned on, remembered the things that you said Chorus Chorus The greatest fan of your life.

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As of the moment, i'm just here... i think i should clean my room, i haven't really "settled" myself... i didn't really hook anything up either.... i got a gelatinous mixture of garbage, food and clothes all together on my floor... and occasional wires from my computer... let me take a moment to name a few items... jack in the box shake cups (3)... underwear, illinois shirt, socks, more socks, mountain dew can, ketchup packets, sugar in the raw packets, napkins, some paper with some random thoughts on it, a cup, a corona lighter, diablo 2 cds, blank cds, mest (2) cds, matchbox 20 cds, md player, socks, plastic bottles, smelly socks, mcdonalds bag.. although i dont remember going there to get food, guitar picks, lots of pictures, a couple plastic bags, straw wrappers, some notebooks, a chair, a honda emblem, a toyota emblem, an easter basket, my cell phone charger, a pillow, towel, socks, and thats just about it... Work was alright, josh was being cool again... nothin else really too exciting... work is work, besides that, its stress, but work none the less... also money.... getting off work was a relief... i didn't feel like being there too much, but of course, i gotta somewhat be all sorts of... Hi i'm Mikey, did you read my name tag? it reads hyper... let me kiss your feet... Haha, mikey and his dad just keep askin me why i deal with americanese cars.... i say, i duno, whatever... they want me to get a truck, they know how to deal with trucks, not "americanese" cars.... well i say, hey, if you can find one like mikey's for the price that he had... dang, i'll do it haha, right now i'm talkin to brittany's dad... well i think its brittany's dad, he she keeps talkin about frog muffs and muff diving... yea.. uh... right.... moving on, well he's all sorts of funny and what not, i gotta see that guy sometime... i want my chapstick..... ugh, well, somehow i'm still stuck in this britt/jeremy deal thing... goodness.. and i thought I was bad... geez, at least i don't grab other people into locker rooms... well, siblings and friends.... well i dont know what i do, i'll look into that... anyway, i guess jeremy's at karalee's, typical i hear.... i guess he lives there... but anyway, britt just told me that she messaged karalee and jeremy replied saying (this is jeremy if you even care).... golly... i wish i had the balls to use lines like that at times... "if you even care" HA. ah ha... just got off the phone with britt's dad... he's a fun guy also... he was just wonderin about the car and what not... then we were talkin about his bike and such... craziness... i don't think that i could own a bike... well i've always thought about it, but it wouldn't be practical.. oh geez, more jeremy and brittany stuff... mind you, this is like 20 mins later... somethin about jeremy givin britt a heads up... whatever that means... and in whatever context.... whatever.... what... ev...er... just let it go for the love of all thats holy... and another update.... Dizzygurl707: i feel like i'm being replaced Mykii1urHeart: by what? Mykii1urHeart: you too huh... lol Dizzygurl707: it kinda makes me mad Dizzygurl707: by jeremy Mykii1urHeart: yea, 2 of us Mykii1urHeart: but whatever man.. Dizzygurl707: karalee was mine before they ever hung out now they r at 88 and i'm not Mykii1urHeart: lol Mykii1urHeart: jeremy's at 88? Dizzygurl707: he just makes me mad Dizzygurl707: he is wit karalee Mykii1urHeart: but he doens't work there right? Dizzygurl707: *with* Dizzygurl707: no they r hangin out Dizzygurl707: =-O Dizzygurl707: >:o Mykii1urHeart: lol, geez brittany..... i knew karalee b4 all yall Dizzygurl707: so u have 1st dibs then Dizzygurl707: thats fine u r not a hog Mykii1urHeart: heh... things change, just kinda gotta accept it Dizzygurl707: no i don't Mykii1urHeart: or then again, do something about it Dizzygurl707: i don't like change Dizzygurl707: thats what i was trying to do but then jeremy interupted and she said she would have to call me back Mykii1urHeart: heh what can you do though? Dizzygurl707: go to 88 Dizzygurl707: do u want 2 Dizzygurl707: i'll come get u Mykii1urHeart: heh, not exactly haha, geez... whatever, lol thats kinda funny.... karalee as an item... haha.. i just noticed that this post will be really long... oh well screw it... wow, from what i hear, karalee and jeremy are at 88.. and well, i guess brittany and i are goin over there.... woop de doo.... i guess she's gonna get whatever out in the open... we'll see about that.... and well, i hate self-inviting myself to places, and i guess this is kinda forcing myself into a place... great..... we'll see how this'll go...

(Crap)²+-2(My luck)+(Little fun)= Not positive.. or something...

Well the hey hey and the shiznit don't seem to be working for me as of the moment.. I don't know.. my life has been, scrambled.. but not really, i think i just make it like that... well, ashley left yesterday... i miss her already, and i know i'm not alone on that feeling... yesterday was general conference. i kinda watched it with the squires family.. i was trying to stay awake, but it wasn't really working.. it was one of those.. Must.....stay....awake....... or can't.. keep eyes.... open..... or like... ...can't.... scratch.... my back.... type things.... its always fun being going over there... lori fed me with some good grub, karalee brittany and elyssa kept me occupied... freakin with tryin to give me wedgies and tickling me... haha good times.... thats ok though... i'll get them all back.... muhahahah when they least expect it...... MUHAHAHA.... uh yea, anyway, before i give out my secret plan... it was fun... kimball called while i was over there.. actually i think brittany called also... not sure if that was the same day or not... my mind's kinda goin... ya know, with old age and stuff... whew, its hard being 18... or something around that.... afterwards, i went with karalee back to her place to chill out and watch Holes... we ended up goin out and gettin some candy and junk (cravings.... whoa yea... almond joys are good... so are tootsie rolls) with Chelsa and Brandon... they're so fun... well we watched holes... pretty good movie i thought... and just about fell asleep there... i was leaving and while turning onto tropicana, one of the other studs on my gimp wheel broke off... i swear i'm gonna send that wheel to burnination at the guy with the bigg nife's house... yea well, i ended up calling karalee and spending the night over there.. she took me to work this morning also... and well, work wasn't all that bad, it was exausting, i slept pretty well i guess... well, it was different, my breathing patterns were all sorts of mixed up, my nose was congested but then it wasn't at the same time... whatever, i dont' know.. my body is doing whack things to me... well work was long as kinda mentioned before... and larry always over snows me with fries... well not in that sense... he just kinda drops 10354058 billion million quentillion freakin fries in a matter of 45 seconds.... and well, i'm left with like 2 orders and 1023547105 hundered fries... yea well that was great... and now well, i jsut got home.. lisa amore gave me a ride... she's a blast also... so fun... and well, i'm just chilling with my back killin....me... right now.... as we speak...... OWA... and well, not i'm kinda bored, cuz theres nothing to do right now.... and well, theres no one to do anything with at the moment.... but i'll bet i'll find someone to do something with.... anyway... i'll be back.... i got some thoughts flowing through my head and what not....

Craziamazifreakiness!!!

The first thing on my mind right now is that i got home safely... its 3:26 and i could've been dead, or injured, or minorly bruised.... anyway, i dropped off brittany and i checked the lug nuts on my wheels, some were loose and some were fine.. so i tightened them.... the whole day i mentioned that the wheels on my car would fall off and tonight i got close enough... i was driving on the 95 back home and the car would shake whenever i didn't use the gas... or if it was in low rpms... stinkin i freaked out and got off the nearest exit, lake mead, and checked my wheels again (the first thing that is noticable)... well my driver's side wheel was about to fall off... 2 adjacent lug nuts were half way unscrewed... the other two were just loose.... that got my heart pumpin pretty bad... i guess i should take care of all the things on the car to insure my safety.... I'M STILL ALIVE BABY!!! The night was rad... missed out on a good movie, but chilled with people i normally don't hang out with... ashley and heather... they're so funny... Ashley and Mandy are in town, they're leaving tomorrow :(... it was awesome seeing them... i wish ashley would move back... karalee, ashley, mandy, britt, bill, scott and i went bowling tonight, just so we could chill a little bit more b4 ash leaves... things have been manageable still... getting a little tight, but i believe i can handle it... ¤[Thought]¤ My sisters are the best!! And caramel shakes are gooood

Alright, so my internet has been down for a little bit... what was that, about a day? yea i think.... last night's work wasn't too bad.... i started at 4:45 and closed so i got a bit of hours.... kinda whack, but i've been put on drive a whole bunch... closing wasn't too bad... larry's sick i think... he's been kinda coughin every now and then and hasn't been talkin much... lawrence mostly ran the shift... nothing too spectacular went on last night... definitely nothing worth mentioning or getting into... just bullshiz.... well today i gotta run a bunch of errands... but the problem is.... the car's front right wheel is jacked up... not the wheel itself, but the bolt that holds it on.... i only have 3 of them instead of 4... so one of the bolts broke off... not safe for sure.... the car itself is running really well though... i'm just afraid that i gotta go to the junkyard and pick up a whole new thingy... i found car insurance... but it'll be a week or so to save enough money for the small down payment... its 208 then 108 a month which is really nice... ugh... i gotta pay my cell bill today, get a haircut, maybe get an oil change... buy some food and i think i'll be good.... heh, i guess i'm getting direct deposit from in-n-out... it'll be nice for the time being.... ugh... i'm sick of typing right now, i'm gonna check out the lancer outside and the protege.... then go do my errands... and hopefully not die....