Well well well. I'm in my apartment now. Packing up my life and relocating wasn't as hard as I had thought. I think the problem that I face now is organizing everything I packed into random boxes and bins.
My place is pretty neat. The carpet is a little damp due to the cleaning guys, it's kind of fresh, I think I can say that. I'm going to like it here. I can feel it. Kimball helped me move stuff here Scott Ivie came and they both hung out for a bit. We went shopping over at Kohl's for a sale of sorts. Britt met up with us and helped me move the rest of my junk over to the pad. We hung out and talked about the random crap that I need to get. Seriously, she's funny... I really do love that girl...
So living in a cold dark and kind of wet place isn't really that bad. Most of the random crappy conditions I find myself working or living in would normally seem pretty negative. I guess normally because I'm not always so excited or just... happy--even giddy-- during those times I guess. I'm starting to really figure out how I work... and well, I think I've pinned this one down too. Really, I don't think I've ever really been so excited to hear from a person. Brizzie texts me randomly about the sunset and the rest of my day is like -bling- bright and bubbly!! She's at work and I have this random energy. She hangs out and I just can't act normal... I'm not going to enter the danger zone with this again... it's already enough for me to think about right now. I've figured out why it sucks so much sometimes. I totally get sucked into the hope of something actually occurring. It's like why I guess I like some of those chick flick movies. They're first fine and have some sort of weird history, they enter up in some sort of crazy mess where perhaps things look dismal and depressing, and you just end up hoping that they get back together because of the random things that they both go through. Meh, I just want the guy to get the girl haha... Maybe it's predictable, but I get caught up in those movies. I always end up hoping that they'd get together in the end... of course with good reason. Even when it doesn't look possible, I still end up hoping that it is possible one way or another. When it doesn't turn out to be that whole happy ever after, I still wonder how things would've been had it worked out. I guess for me, i just hope that there's going to be that one chance where things will change and work out. I dunno, I watch some movie with Kristen Bell with Todd and Karalee and totally was like OH GOSH, just snap out of it and you'll love it. There's so many things that fuel the hope that things will work out, but of course, things don't work out till the end of the movie, at which you're like GOSH that would've been so saaad... Actually I have no idea what the heck I'm ranting about anymore, I think I just like chick flicks, and perhaps am just hoping for that one moment where things could change and work out. And well, even though I know that it's unlikely, and pretty much pointless to even try, there's this undying hope that you know, maybe it could work out. Sometimes I feel that it really could. Stupid hope. She's just too good of a friend. Weird really. I don't think she's doing anything different than she'd normally do when it comes to me, but I sure look into it all through some sort of glass and end up noticing it all sorts of different. Ha. I'm not special. I know that. My situation is special, that's for sure. She shared some random stuff today from work. I thought it was funny really... The best part is that I caught myself thinking it about it in two different ways, once that was depressing and one that was like totally ok. At first I guessed that it solidified the inability to ever progress. Then I thought well, I guess it's alright. I got over it and really just wanted to enjoy the time anyway. I guess in deeper analyzation, I'd probably say recount something like that to a person for perhaps one of a few reasons. 1. To ensure that the person gets the right idea, or 2. to perhaps use it as an opportunity to bring something up and make the person think about it, 3. to make things awkward. Reasonings behind such? 1. Because I think you're annoying. 2. Because I'm too much of a panzy to actually go out and say how I really feel. 3. Because I enjoy being awkward. I think personally, I usually go with number 2, just because I really am a panzy and go through things in a complete round about way at times. I guess because I think like that, it makes me hope that there's more. But there isn't. right? ha. shut up hope. I think in random weird ways... i wonder how many people think like I do.. I'd sure like to meet them. maybe hug them. for sure a high five.
That was a stupid long rant that really wasn't that important. I'm glad that i can just flow with my thoughts at the moment. it really feels kind of fun to just see words fly across the screen right after I think it. My feet are kind of cold, I need to get my bed put together, the door still doesn't shut well enough. The heater next to me is baking half of my body while the other side is freezing. I should probably rotate or find some sort of way to create a human sized rotisserie and get myself on that ride.
I really need to finish unpacking. My pillows look dang good. Work today wasn't too bad, I was on pay window... I'm starting to actually enjoy it for some reason, I think it's the way that I've learned to interact with the peeps in the drive. I'm quite social at times, but I found that when I try too hard, I can't think of anything to say and end up being retarded. When I'm conscious of my retarded words, I end up not talking, which also isn't any good. Apparently the key is to go with the flow and continue to be stupid weird and spontaneous. I found that Britt does that a bit... stupid crazy sessions.... so funny. I totally do it, not even intentionally at times. The whole tethering on my phone is super convenient. I'm so not internet-less!! LOVE IT.
There's been a lot of drama flowing around. I've been an escape for a couple people. There are things told to me that I'm not quite comfortable with and sort of have changed my perspective on a few things. I end up being judgmental and I'm instantly reminded of how I shouldn't. I feel that Heavenly Father really has been helping me lately. I've really been able to feel so much better about life and getting a move on things. Thankfully I don't understand or see the whole picture like He does, and I'm starting to appreciate that. Sometimes though, I end up being quick to judge and feel super bad about it. Repentance is great. I'm hopefully am going to be able to have more of a scripture study. i looked at all the gospel books I had on the shelf and am really motivated to sit down and study a bit. I'm so thankful for the understanding of the Atonement that I have. I don't think I've really appreciated it as much as I have this past couple weeks. It makes a whole difference in life and has changed my attitude of things. I'll strive to find someone who loves Heavenly Father more than I do. I'm sure things will work out well after that. I'm sure if I put Him first, I'm sure that he'll provide me with someone funny and cute and uplifting. Ha. Sometime I guess. Marriage. It sounds like a story that I'm in. Crazy interesting.
I just realized that my doors really really really don't lock and that I'm living in an apartment complex. Should i have more faith in those around me that they'll do the right thing? i'm sure they'll be fine, but perhaps my situation is providing someone with the opportunity to exercise some righteous actions.
My place smells of paint and coconut. I don't mind the coconut, although I think it's starting to smell funny, probably because my head is starting to hurt because of the fumes...
I'm getting really tired. I've got to wake up early to take pictures for Brandon and Chelsa. Later next week I've got more people to shoot, Perhaps even on Sunday.That'll be an interesting Sunday.
Gosh, alright, i've got to get up. I'm getting up,
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